Bridesmaid shares woes over ‘transactional’ wedding, sparks debate on expectations in S’pore

Reddit post about bridesmaid woes sparks debate on whether Singapore weddings are too transactional

A Reddit user shared her dismay after a bridesmaid experience for a friend’s wedding turned out more disappointing than joyous, raising questions about the increasingly transactional nature of weddings in Singapore.

In a viral Reddit post, user u/TryingMyBestttttttt expressed her frustrations, highlighting issues such as bridesmaids having to pay for their own dresses and receiving a modest sum in their angbaos (red packets).

Source: Jacqueline Jams on Canva

The post sparked heated online debates, with many netizens criticising the couple’s behaviour. Others also pointed out that the bridesmaid’s expectations played a role in the situation.

Bridesmaid shares ordeal

According to the Reddit user, preparations for the wedding, including gatecrash games and logistics, were left until the “last minute”.

However, everything went smoothly on the wedding day as planned. The bridesmaids were actively involved from early morning, helping with games and later assisting with wedding dinner logistics, such as registration and collecting red packets.

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The experience took a bitter turn when the bridesmaids realised the couple had taken back all the gatecrash red packets after the morning session, leaving them with only S$100 as a token of appreciation.

“I understood from everyone that bridesmaids usually keep the gatecrash red packets,” the user wrote.

On top of that, they had to pay out of pocket for their dresses and transport, which the bridesmaid said left her feeling underappreciated.

Adding to her consternation, the couple reportedly complained about guests not giving enough in their red packets to cover the table costs and insisted on tracking guests’ contributions by ensuring they wrote their names on the packets.

“It was so embarrassing that we had to double check and make them write or write the names ourselves,” she added.

“Are weddings getting too transactional in Singapore?” she asked.

Netizens divided over expectations

The post drew widespread attention and mixed reactions. Some sided with the bridesmaid, calling the couple “cheap” and criticising their transactional mindset.

“Seriously, what a cheapskate couple,” one commenter wrote. “To even take back the gatecrash ang baos and ask for names on the guests’ ang baos — damn calculative!”

Source: Reddit

Another shared their own experience with a similar situation, adding: “Needless to say, a friendship was lost that night.”

Source: Reddit

However, others pointed out that the bridesmaid also appeared transactional in her expectations.

“The couple is definitely being transactional, but so are you,” one netizen commented. “The reason you’re upset is because you only got S$100 in red packets.”

Source: Reddit

Weddings in Singapore: A transactional affair?

The post also reignited debates on the rising costs of weddings in Singapore and whether friendships are being strained by unspoken expectations.

Some highlighted the need for mutual generosity and understanding.

A user summarised that from a bride’s perspective, a true friend would do it for free. But from a bridesmaid’s perspective, a true friend would show more generosity.

Source: Reddit

Also read: M’sian Influencer Gifts Bridesmaids Dyson Hair Dryers & Customised Designer Bags During 3-Day Bachelorette Party

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Featured image adapted from Pryanett on Canva. For illustration purposes only.