On the surface, 21-year-old Azaleagrace Teo could easily pass for any other Gen Z Singaporean.
She’s balancing her studies with a freelance gig for cash. She rocks a cropped tee with baggy pants, and she’s eager to gush about her love for 2000s-era bands — in her case, Panic! At The Disco (the original line-up, as she’s quick to point out).
Beneath her cheerful demeanor and quick-witted quips, however, lies a painful past.
At just 15, she was removed from an abusive parent and shuffled between various interim centres and hostels, before finally finding stability, support, and a renewed sense of purpose.
Now, with plans to further her education and build a career, Azaleagrace is focused on creating the stable life she’s always dreamed of — one that’s finally starting to feel within reach.
Azaleagrace doesn’t hold back when describing her childhood to MS News.
“There were always arguments and fights, and food was never a certainty,” she recalls. “We often skipped lunch and waited until dinner to eat. I wouldn’t say I was well-provided for.”
Her relationship with her mother, who is from China and couldn’t speak much English, was virtually non-existent.
“She was mostly absent, and we had no emotional connection,” Azaleagrace states. “I just saw her as someone I happened to live with.”
Adding to the strain, she had to care for her older sister, who was overly dependent. Tasks included fulfilling essential needs, such as showering, which pushed Azaleagrace into a motherly role — one their actual mother never filled.
The real trauma, however, came from her father.
“I understand why people might think he was a great dad,” she says. “Every Saturday, he took us on outdoor adventures like hiking and fishing. He was the most constant figure in my life and my role model for years.”
But when Azaleagrace was eight or nine, things took a dark turn when her father began sexually abusing her.
Source: D-Keine on Canva, for illustration purposes only
Since she hadn’t received her Sexuality Education lessons, she struggled to understand what was happening or recognise that it was wrong, especially when her father acted as though nothing had occurred the next day.
“It was really difficult to come to terms with what was happening behind closed doors,” she shares. “For most of the week, he seemed like such a good dad.”
For years, Azaleagrace suppressed the trauma of her father’s abuse, dismissing it as something that “just happened after dark”.
It wasn’t until she turned 15 that she finally found the courage to tell her close friends.
Opening up, she admits, was overwhelming.
“Saying it out loud for the first time, acknowledging what had happened, made everything feel so real.”
Psychologist Valerie Wong explains that victims of abuse often find it difficult to disclose their experiences due to the deep emotional and psychological impact, particularly when the abuse occurs within the family.
Feelings of shame, unworthiness, and self-blame can prevent them from talking about it, and many avoid the topic as a coping mechanism because they fear reopening emotional wounds they have worked hard to numb.
After summoning the courage to speak out, Azaleagrace took the next step: confiding in her school counsellor, who alerted the principal and the police.
Since her parents had divorced three years earlier and her mum was completely out of the picture at that point, her grandmother was contacted about the situation.
Unfortunately, things didn’t go quite as planned. “My grandmother was told to keep things under wraps until I was safely removed, but when we got home, she told my dad about the police report.”
What followed was a dramatic confrontation, with Azaleagrace locking herself in her room as her father angrily slammed objects and accused her of trying to “ruin” him.
Over the next week, she had to pretend everything was normal until she was finally pulled out of class and taken to an Interim Placement and Assessment Centre (IPAC).
Her grandmother later urged her to drop the case, citing her father’s role as the family’s main breadwinner and appealing to her with the “he’s my son” sympathy card.
“To this day, he still won’t admit to anything,” Azaleagrace says. “I’ve thought about reporting it again, but he’s very sick now, and I don’t think anything good would come of it.”
Being removed from her home gave Azaleagrace much-needed distance from her father, but it also brought a new challenge: finding stable housing.
She moved between various temporary accommodations eight times before finally settling into HCSA Dayspring, a residential treatment centre for girls who have experienced complex trauma, including abuse or neglect.
Instead of feeling safe, however, Azaleagrace had trouble adapting to her new environment.
“It was horrible,” she recalls with a laugh. “I was still very much in denial and didn’t talk to anyone. I’d just squat in a corner, quiet and brooding.”
Image courtesy of Azaleagrace Teo
Still, volunteers and other residents showed her kindness, and little by little, Azaleagrace began to realise they genuinely cared about her.
She even bonded with another resident over their love for Panic! At The Disco, forming a friendship that remains strong nearly seven years later.
Gradually, Azaleagrace emerged from her somber, aloof shell and is now cheerful and talkative — a personality she says she “cultivated through her experiences”.
“I hated talking to volunteers and even dropped out of a programme once because a lady hugged me,” she chuckles. “But I realised staying quiet wouldn’t do anything, so I learned how to present myself in a way that would make people more likely to want to help me.”
Upon turning 18, Azaleagrace, now a legal adult, had to leave Dayspring.
That’s when OWENA, the alumni support network for former residents, stepped in, providing financial assistance that went directly towards her rent, while Azaleagrace worked as a freelance web developer to earn additional income.
OWENA provided more than just monetary help; it became her community and family.
Soon, Azaleagrace took on a leadership role within the group, organising activities and offering emotional support to others.
As a survivor, she understands that trauma manifests differently for everyone, sometimes in unhealthy ways. However, she emphasises the importance of never shaming others.
“I’ve definitely learned how to approach girls who need help better, and I’m glad I can connect them to people who can support them,” she says.
For example, she helped a girl escaping a risky home situation by guiding her to the right resources for a safer place to stay.
“I’m proud that she felt safe enough to trust me with her situation,” Azaleagrace smiles.
Dayspring also gave Azaleagrace the chance to discover her passion for user interface (UI) and user experience (UX) design, thanks to a volunteer who referred her to a job at a telecommunications company.
To further develop her skills, she enrolled in an Interactive Design programme at ITE College Central and is now interning as a UI/UX developer at a software development company.
This April, she will take the next step by pursuing a Diploma in Experience & Product Design at Singapore Polytechnic.
Her personal life is thriving, too. She shares a rented room with her boyfriend of two years, and the couple plans to apply for a BTO flat next year.
“I want to build a life where I can take good care of myself,” she reflects. “I didn’t grow up in a stable home, so it’s something I’ve always wanted.”
Azaleagrace’s story is just one of many inspiring journeys at Dayspring, where young female survivors of abuse and trauma begin their path to recovery.
Ms Wong, who is also Head of Dayspring, emphasises the importance of empathy and understanding in supporting these survivors.
“At Dayspring, we engage a systemic approach by working collaboratively with caregivers, educators, and government and community agencies,” she explains, noting that this ensures a survivor’s healing is reinforced by a safe and nurturing network.
“By offering safe spaces and empowering victims to process their experiences, we help them seek help when they are ready,” she adds.
Through the Wall of Giving campaign, the public can support these girls by helping provide safe homes, education, and emotional support as they rebuild their lives.
Donations will also assist single mothers and children from single-parent families, as well as fund OWENA’s workshops and financial support for its members.
To donate and learn more about the Wall of Giving campaign, visit the website here. For more information about Dayspring’s care approach and impact, click here.
You can also follow HCSA Community Services on Facebook for more updates.
This article was brought to you in collaboration with HCSA Community Services.
Featured image by MS News. Photography by Jaslyn Tan.
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