Buying a Christmas gift is no mean feat. Not only do you have to think of what that person likes, you have to work out a budget, source for the item, and wrap it nicely.
Then there’s that Secret Santa game that compels you to get a Christmas gift for your friends or co-workers.
Everything sounds manageable so far – if you need help, just read the first paragraph again – but what if the name you draw turns out to be your least favourite person in the clique?
If that suay person is you this year, don’t worry, we’ve got you covered.
This gift guide presents to you 10 low-key useless things you can buy to pull a prank on your Secret Santa receiver this Christmas. Let’s get started.
While Christmas parties are filled with entertaining drinking sessions, you can be a party pooper by gifting your receiver a carton of non-alcoholic alcohol.
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This is particularly effective if you know your receiver can’t say no to alcohol. Plus, you can easily cop a bottle of that here.
Is that person a major spice lover? If so, there’s no better way to piss them off than to gift a bowl of non-spicy mala hotpot.
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This way, the person can’t even complain about the present because mala hotpot is expensive AF.
Know that annoying feeling of buying a nail clipper that’s so weak it won’t even clip through your nails? That’s exactly what you want to get this Christmas for your unfavoured being.
If your identity is compromised, you’ll need a solid rubbish story like “I heard people with shorter nails live longer” to back the gift up.
Yes, Frozen 1. Now that Frozen 2 is out, that makes Part 1 old news.
But hey, places like pasar malams are probably trying to get rid of the out-of-trend pyjamas set so you can cop them at cheaper prices too.
After all, it’s the thought that counts, right?
Is that person single? If so, this gift idea definitely hits the jackpot — one side of a couple phone case.
It works best if the phone case has cringey phrases like “She’s mine”.
Imagine receiving 5 identical claw machine toys? One word, frustrating!
Not only will they have to crack their brains on where to store the toys, they can’t fault you either because claw machines actually take a lot of effort.
Speaking of pasar malams, another gift you can consider is a bag of 1-day-old fried food.
Just get a packet of assorted fried food skewers one day before your gift exchange so it gets soggy by then.
P.S. Works best if that person absolutely hates soggy fries. If you’re one of those who buy gifts at the last minute, this can be your final resort.
Some of you might not know this, but every makeup product comes with an expiry date.
So if the person you’re gifting is a crazy makeup fan, a brilliant gift idea is to get her a hamper full of expiring makeup products.
When questioned, simply say “Huh? I don’t know makeup got expiry date” and you’re safe.
If that person is an iPhone user, no present can beat the useless gift meter than a screen protector that doesn’t match, say, a Samsung one — and vice versa.
Well, maybe they can keep it till’ they get a new phone after their 2-year contract ends.
When we say wireless mouse, you must be thinking of those high-tech gadgets that come with a USB adapter. Nah, that’s way over our budget.
Just get a secondhand mouse from your nearest Cash Converters and snip the wires off. Tadah, wireless mouse. Genius idea.
Well, as people always say, it’s the thought that counts.
If you keep this up every year, perhaps people will get the hint and finally stop asking you to get them gifts.
Do you have more low-key useless gift ideas? Share them with everyone in the comments below.
Feature images adapted from Entree Kibbles, Reddit, The Healthy and Utopia.
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