S’porean Woman Shares Struggles Of Uprooting & Blending In, Grateful For Kind Locals Who Helped Her

Expat Wife & Motivational Speaker Calls Singapore Home

It is not easy for anyone to move out of their comfort zones, not to mention out of their home country and into a new one. For motivational speaker and life coach Yana Fry, it took 15 years for her to assimilate into Singapore culture.

Fry shared her story with Singapore-based YouTuber Max Chernov in a recent interview. During the session, the pair discussed Fry’s experience living in Singapore, and how she feels about being a Singaporean.

She spoke about how she initially struggled to live in Singapore before finally getting used to the culture here.

Expat wife lived in many other countries, found it hard to assimilate

The life coach moved to Singapore 15 years ago with her late husband. Prior to this, she lived in Russia, Switzerland, and New York.

When she first moved here, she noticed a stark difference in cultures and the way people communicate. She said that in New York or Switzerland, for example, you just need to raise your voice for people to pay attention.

However, it does not work this way in Singapore. Fry recounted an incident where she was at the bank with her late husband.

As her late husband was a tall man, he ended up intimidating the bank tellers when he raised his voice. She spoke of how the tellers would “freeze”, and “nothing would be done”.

“I could see in their faces how they would hate him for this, and not do anything at all,” she remarked. She highlighted that the difference here is that anger or any type of aggression would not get you far.

Difficult to meet new local friends, urges other expats to meet more locals

From her experience living abroad, Fry realised that people who live in bigger countries have bigger dreams. For those who come from a small country like Singapore, they are more “risk averse”.

Fry confessed that she did not like living in Singapore for the first five years. It took her a very long time to get used to life here, as she did not know anyone except for her late husband.

As an expat wife, she did not have a job where she could meet other locals and assimilate. Not having kids also meant that she did not have the opportunity to meet other parents in Singapore.

While it was tough at first, all it took was a change in mindset for things to change.

Understand that you are in a different place, you are in a different culture, you are in a different country, so you can’t just stay with what you know.

Keeping an open mind is the key to understanding a new land, and she urges other expats to actively meet other locals. Fry said that it would not help with assimilation if they just stayed with people from their hometowns.

Besides at work or at their children’s schools, she also suggests foreigners and expats volunteer at local organisations. For herself, she volunteers to give courses.

Struggled to assimilate at first, but now calls Singapore home

Ever since she got used to life in Singapore, Fry has also developed a love for the country. She said she has learnt a lot from locals, and that they have all been “incredibly kind to her”.

Among all the countries she has lived in, Singapore is the “least judgemental”. In her experience, she felt that there is no hostility or an “us-versus-them” mentality towards foreigners.

Speaking about getting Singapore citizenship, she said the ceremony was “very, very beautiful”. While the minister at the ceremony was giving the speech, Fry recounted how she had “tears in her eyes” from how moving it was.

“In Singapore, it doesn’t matter where you’re born, what language you speak, what religion you have, what unites people is you believe in values that Singapore represents.”

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Featured image adapted from Max Chernov on YouTube.