A henna tattoo artist and former Singapore Police Force (SPF) officer has taken to social media to share her experiences of being bullied while in the force.
The death of police officer Uvaraja S/O Gopal brought up memories of what she went through at just age 19.
Even though there were some superiors who helped her, others put her in a difficult situation, especially during her first six months.
She was told that hazing was “the culture” within the SPF and she was close to resigning. However, she was convinced to stay thanks to an understanding superior and remained in the SPF for another seven years.
For illustration purposes only
Regardless, she still holds on to her traumatic experiences and emphasises that superiors have to treat subordinates with dignity.
Facebook user Fauzella Sahabdin shared in her post on Sunday (23 July) that the death of Mr Uvaraja brought back “horrible memories” of being in the SPF.
Source: Facebook
She alleged that she was “made to feel stupid” while in the force.
“SPF was my first job . . . When I got accepted, I was ecstatic. I told myself, I’m gonna work very hard. I’m gonna try to make a difference in society and everything else. I was very motivated. But little did I know, it’s the SPF ground team that needs help. Major help.”
Ms Fauzella added that she lost her motivation and self-respect there.
“The first six months I was there was hell,” she said. “It was just insults after insults.”
She was allegedly subjected to degrading name-calling and was even called a “b****” by a senior male colleague, which he apparently never apologised for.
Once, when Ms Fauzella wanted to go home after her night duty and rest instead of going for breakfast, she was called “arrogant” by a team leader.
The team leader purportedly chided her by saying, “I think I know what’s the problem. You are just arrogant. The teammates want to go for breakfast, you must join as we are all a team.”
Furthermore, Ms Fauzella said that she was always “put down, insulted, called names”, and became “the topic of the joke”.
When other officers from different teams and Neighbourhood Police Centres (NPCs) heard about this, they laughed it off because “this was the culture”.
“They went through it during their time so now it’s my time,” Ms Fauzella said.
Since this was supposedly the norm in the force, she felt she couldn’t complain to anyone as she feared being marked.
Fortunately, things started to look up when a young inspector named Jason Lim joined the team as the leader.
Source: Facebook
“When he came into the team, everything changed,” Ms Fauzella shared, noting that he acknowledged what was going on and stepped in when something was done unfairly.
“He changed that horrible culture. He couldn’t change the older officers but he stepped in.”
She then took the opportunity to thank Mr Lim for helping her during the most difficult part of her life.
Sadly, he was transferred a year later to the Criminal Investigation Department (CID) and she handed in her resignation soon after that.
But Deputy Commander Desmond Choo convinced her to stay and transferred her to the training branch.
“He said, if after three months I am still firm in resigning, he will accept my resignation,” she said.
In the end, she stayed there for seven years.
“Till today, when I look back and remember this time in my life, I tear up,” Ms Fauzella wrote. “The hurt is still there, very much. As I am writing this, I am tearing.”
Because of her traumatic experiences, she says she is fearful whenever her sons go anywhere without her as she is afraid of them being bullied.
Regardless of who you are . . . respect others.
“Like you, we are someone’s children too. Like you, we have self-respect and dignity too. You can be the most experienced now, but you won’t be forever. You can be powerful then, but not all your life.”
Ms Fauzella emphasised that no one should drive people to madness just to feed their ego.
She added that just because someone is “strong emotionally”, they shouldn’t expect others to be like them.
Not everyone is the same, she said, and people grow differently.
Ms Fauzella also shared that as a top henna tattoo artist with many younger artists under her, she is in a position where she “can be an a**hole” if she wanted to.
“But I won’t. Because my parents didn’t raise me to be this way. Our religion didn’t teach us to treat people like garbage. In fact, our religion is all about the way we treat others, especially people who are not on par with us.”
Ms Fauzella ended her post by clarifying that she isn’t sharing her experience for publicity, but to share what she went through as a police officer.
Basically, she just wanted to inform everyone that this is allegedly what happens behind closed doors in NPCs.
She also stated that naming people won’t solve the root of the problem because it is the culture and practices within the SPF that require changing.
Thus, she hopes that those with the power to change things can do so.
“I pray this post can help those officers who are going through this predicament now to hold on and not do anything rash,” she wrote.
Ms Fauzella also encouraged anyone who’s facing such a situation and finds it pointless to speak to anyone to simply resign.
Leave. Just don’t do anything rash. You can always get a job elsewhere. But your life, that’s priceless.
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Featured image adapted from Yishun South NPC on Facebook, for illustration purposes only, and Fauzella Sahabdin on Facebook.
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