DJ Gerald Koh says 4-year-old daughter was shamed for not sharing pencil with younger child

DJ Gerald Koh shares about café encounter that left young daughter in tears

A father’s rant on TikTok about a café encounter involving his 4-year-old daughter has struck a nerve online, igniting debate over whether children should always be expected to share.

The video, posted by TikTok account @dodadwithgerald, shows GOLD 905 radio presenter Gerald Koh recounting how a seemingly minor interaction escalated into a tense exchange between parents.

Younger girl approached his daughter while she was colouring

Speaking to MS News, Gerald, 41, said the incident took place at a café on 22 March, while he was working and his daughter Gemma was colouring independently.

A toddler, estimated to be about two and a half years old, then approached their table and began taking interest in the colouring activity.

“The colour pencils were all around the table. She gently took one of them,” Gerald said, adding that he was not particularly bothered that the child did not ask for permission due to her age.

However, Gemma reacted differently.

“She felt she wasn’t ready or done, and was afraid that the girl would destroy that page she was colouring on.”

Father steps in after daughter becomes uncomfortable

Gerald said he had earlier reassured Gemma that she did not have to share if she was not ready.

When the toddler picked up one of Gemma’s pencils, Gemma got “flustered”.

She responded by handing her colouring materials to her father — something he interpreted as her trying to protect her belongings.

He mentioned in the video that he felt “very proud of her”.

“I’m proud of you because you are defending yourself, you don’t want to let people bully you, you don’t want to let people take your things.”

He then approached the child’s mother to retrieve the pencil, explaining that they were about to leave.

Situation escalates after mother’s response

According to Gerald, the situation escalated when the other parent questioned his actions.

“She said, ‘Hey, hello. Why you take the pencil from my daughter?”

Gerald responded that the pencils belonged to his daughter, but said the exchange quickly became more confrontational.

He claimed the mother then addressed Gemma directly, saying she was a “big girl” who did not know how to share — which caused the child to become visibly upset.

“That was when she started crying,” Gerald said.

‘Every kid has the power to say no’

The incident left a lasting impression on both father and daughter.

Gerald said the key takeaway for him was about teaching children boundaries rather than enforcing unconditional sharing.

“Every kid has the power to say no if they are not done,” he told MS News.

“Even if it is public property… they can always say, give me some time, when I’m done I will hand it over to you.”

He added that the experience echoed a lesson from his own childhood, when his father intervened after a relative asked him to share his ice cream.

“My dad told me that I don’t have to share everything if I’m not done.”

He has asked his daughter to wait her turn in a separate situation

Gerald also recalled a similar situation during a Chinese New Year gathering, where another parent asked their child to give up a game controller mid-play so Gemma could have a turn.

“I said no… it would not be nice just to take over,” he said, adding that Gemma understood she should wait her turn instead.

TikTok post sparks debate online

The video has since gone viral, with netizens divided over the issue.

While some supported Gerald’s stance on teaching boundaries and avoiding “people-pleasing”, others argued that sharing remains an important social skill for children to learn.

Gerald, however, maintains that the lesson is not about refusing to share entirely, but about timing and consent.

“It doesn’t mean that only if I sacrifice something that I’m working at… then I will make the other person happy,” he told MS News.

“And if I don’t, I’m not a good person because I made someone angry.”

“I wanted to share how I felt about the whole colouring situation and to also see if parents agree that there is a difference between being selfish and sharing the toy only when the child is done with it.”

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Featured image adapted from @dodadwithgerald on TikTok and courtesy of Gerald Koh.