Most Singaporeans will know Kumar as possibly our most famous drag queen-cum-comedian.
However, off the stage and out of the sequins, we may not suspect that he’s actually an ordinary family man.
Unbeknownst to many, Kumar has had a son for 11 years.
In fact, rather than his glamourous life, family is the most important thing for him.
Kumar, 54, revealed this unlikely part of his home life in a viral video by Our Grandfather Story (OGS) that has gained over 3,600 shares on Facebook.
In it, he introduced viewers to his son Sathin, who is 30 years old this year.
Sathin now lives with Kumar and their three dogs.
What drove Kumar, a self-professed hater of kids, to take in a son?
Sathin is actually the younger brother of a friend, the comedian said.
One night, when the boy was 18 years old, he turned up at Kumar’s front door, requesting to stay over for a few days.
He ended up staying there for 11 years, and now refers to Kumar as his “mother”.
Sathin was apparently driven from his former home after a fight with his biological father, whom he was “super close” with.
He admitted to having anger management issues at the time, with the last straw being the scuffle with his father, he said, adding,
I allowed the anger to take over me.
This resulted in him seeking alternative accommodation with the well-known comedian.
How did Kumar manage to tame this very angry boy, though?
Sathin said that initially, the involuntary parent was “a bit lost”.
On top of that, Sathin didn’t want to go back to his former home, while his biological mother, who came over for a visit, left without saying anything. This prompted Kumar to realise that he was a parent now.
He decided to bring the boy to see ex-convicts in an attempt to dissuade him from ending up behind bars.
The only way he could avoid that was to control his temper, Sathin said.
Another of Kumar’s parenting methods was somewhat expensive — he bought the boy a PlayStation 4.
This was a bid to keep him at home, as Sathin had used the lack of the device as a reason for staying outside.
While seemingly indulgent, the move worked — the boy stayed home and avoided falling into bad company, drinking, and getting into trouble.
This unconventional living arrangement wasn’t understood by some people, though.
Kumar, who came out as gay years ago, said a “friend” had asked him whether he’d touched the boy.
Of course, he took offence at that question, proclaiming that it was “targeted towards the gay community” — obviously, one’s sexual orientation doesn’t determine whether they’re more likely to touch their children inappropriately.
Sathin put this into perspective by asking,
Would your mother touch you?
Indeed, watching the duo share a mundane meal together, their easy chemistry is akin to that of a parent and child.
In fact, Kumar is both a mother and a father to him, Sathin said, and is “looking after” him, he added, maintaining,
How you want to think about it, that’s up to you.
Perhaps what contributed to Kumar’s resolve to raise the boy well was a determination to not follow in his own father’s footsteps.
He revealed that his father was strict and became an alcoholic after his mother left him, so he abused him and his siblings.
Seeing himself in Sathin, Kumar thought back to his younger days and wished someone had been there to help him.
Now, Kumar is so settled into parenting that when asked what the most important thing for him is, he unhesitatingly answered, “Family.”
That’s why despite how his father treated him, he still made sure he was surrounded by family members when he was sick with cancer.
His sisters still visit him regularly, coming over to “chit chat and talk rubbish”.
The only regret Kumar has, he said, is he never told his father that he has forgiven him.
As for Sathin, they’ve become so close that every time Kumar goes overseas, he would call his son when he reaches his destination.
It’s because the younger man “just wants to hear” his voice, Kumar says sentimentally — and it also makes him happy for the whole trip.
On his part, Sathin thanked Kumar for bearing with him.
As Kumar never dreamt he would be a parent, his relationship with Sathin surprised him, he said.
That’s because he didn’t know he could give someone so much love,
I think people need to learn that nothing beats a family connection.
We appreciate Kumar and Sathin teaching us that there are many definitions of family.
They’ve certainly shown us that family can be more than who we are biologically related to.
Rather, it’s who we feel most at home with.
Have news you must share? Get in touch with us via email at news@mustsharenews.com.
Featured image adapted from Our Grandfather Story on Facebook.
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