Since Singaporeans haven’t been able to dine out since 16 May, more have been ordering food delivery.
Frequent customers will be well accustomed to the menus of different establishments. Most list out their offerings without much description, apart from the name of the item.
However, a lok lok stall in MacPherson decided to add in the descriptions for all their items on GrabFood.
Upon reading them, one can immediately tell that the menu descriptions are deadpan humour at its finest. And we can all surely appreciate a dash of humour in our food delivery experience.
The stall in question is DLLM Lok Lok, located at MacPherson Road.
It serves up various skewered meats and vegetables, boiled in hot water or deep-fried in oil.
While their Malaysian street food offerings will bring back memories of JB outings, their sense of humour was discovered by TikToker @supdion.
We’ll give you some examples.
For the popular Broccoli, nothing can really describe it to people who don’t know what it is… but calling it “Cauli’s Cousin” may come close.
After all, some may say that they do look somewhat like cauliflowers.
Calling a Fish Dumpling with Fish Roe a “pregnant fish ball” may not be too accurate, though it does paint a vivid image.
We’re also not sure it’s a ringing endorsement to say their Fish Otah is something mummy dearest “probably likes”.
Obviously, Singapore’s efforts to discourage people from smoking have paid off, as the stall thinks its Smoked Duck has picked up a “bad habit”.
The stall must firmly believe that the chicken came before the egg – they describe Quail Eggs as “small chicken”. Oh, and they reportedly don’t have bones.
Some of the descriptions can be slightly off-colour, like saying the Pork Taiwan Sausage has meat “probably longer than yours”. Hmm, longer than your what…?
Then there’s the Cheesy Cocktail, described as sausage with a “white thing inside”.
Fish Balls, though, are certainly not “fish’s balls” – do fish even have balls?
When marketing doesn’t do the trick, the best way may be to go against all convention and be brutally honest.
For example, revealing to customers that their Pork Belly slice with Enoki Mushroom is “very tedious to make”. Well, we’re sure we appreciate the effort.
Or that the Marinated Pork Belly Cube Skewer is so “difficult to skewer” that they wanted to charge more for it.
When it comes to Fried Nuggets, the stall makes no bones about it: It can be found at McDonald’s.
In their opinion, Cuttlefish is “fake fish”, though they’ll offer it if we want it.
When it comes to some of their offerings, though, they’ve decided to go to the other extreme and use unabashed praise.
Their Golden Fried Mantou is thus the “best creation in the world”.
They aren’t afraid of a limited vocabulary either – their Fried Fish Wantons and Fried Chicken Dumplings are simply crispy and delicious things, No. 1 & 2.
Speaking of words failing them, when that happens the descriptions become painfully obvious.
We think most people would know that White Button Mushrooms are big round things.
Likewise, Cheese Tofu is tofu with cheese inside. Duh.
How does one describe Fried Veg Popiah? Well, it’s just vegetable wrapped with a “crispy thing”.
And when one is totally out of ideas, it’s okay just to let the item speak for itself.
Thus Chicken Satay is caustically just “Chicken Satay…”. If you don’t know what that is, perhaps they can’t be bothered to explain.
We don’t know if the corny descriptions on their GrabFood menu attract more customers.
They do, however, go some way towards relieving the monotony of ordering food delivery again for the 10th time this week.
Kudos to DLLM Lok Lok for brightening our day and providing some belly laughs while we try to fill our bellies.
Have news you must share? Get in touch with us via email at hello@mustsharenews.com.
Featured images adapted from Eatbook and GrabFood.
Such poor sportsmanship.
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