‘He decided that he didn’t love me anymore’: S’poreans share heartbreaking reasons why long-term couples break up

Netizens share why long-term couples in Singapore break up

A simple question on Reddit recently opened the floodgates to a wave of raw, emotional stories from Singaporeans who’ve endured heartbreak after years-long relationships.

Posted on the r/askSingapore subreddit on 18 May, one user asked: “Singaporean long-term couples who broke up, what happened?”

To keep the discussion focused, they added: “Excluding cheating, why did you guys break up?”

The post struck a nerve, especially among couples who had been together for over five years — some even married or waiting for their Build-To-Order (BTO) flats — and it drew a slew of confessions.

Netizens share personal experiences of breakups

Responses came pouring in after the post went live, with many netizens sharing heartbreaking experiences of long-term relationships falling apart.

Among the most striking replies was from a user who shared that after more than five years together and putting down a BTO downpayment, her boyfriend realised he no longer loved her.

Another Redditor recounted a relationship that lasted five years before marriage, but just two years into it, they divorced.

The husband supposedly didn’t like the fact that his wife slept a lot and was “lazy” at home. The wife had a good career, but her laid-back nature only became apparent after they started living together.

One Reddit user sarcastically commented that their “husband [would] rather come to Reddit and ask weird questions about why long-term couples break up” than spend time with them, leading to the break-up.

Some commenters offered a more philosophical — and brutally honest — take. One said that long-term love often loses its spark and eventually becomes “mundane”.

Four reasons why couples break up

According to Dr Jeffrey Bernstein, a relationship therapist, the main causes of breakups can be grouped into four key categories.

• Highly problematic thoughts and communication breakdown
• Unresolved conflict and lingering resentments
• Emotional or physical disconnection
• Mismatch in life goals or values

These issues are interconnected and frequently overlap, intensifying one another and ultimately contributing to the breakdown of the relationship.

Drawing from his experience, research, and insights in his book “Why Can’t You Read My Mind?”, he suggests that recognising these core issues can empower couples to escape harmful patterns and restore their emotional bond.

Also read: Woman in M’sia breaks up with boyfriend for spitting whenever he talks, he says it gives him ‘edge’ over other men

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