The National University of Singapore (NUS) peeping tom incident that surfaced on social media last Thursday (18 Apr) has sparked heated discussions across Singapore.
While Ms Monica Baey, the victim of the incident has been vocal in expressing her side of the story, the alleged perpetrator has kept a rather low profile, until now at least.
For the first time since the social media meltdown, Nicholas Lim, the perpetrator of the incident has shared his side of the story in an emotional interview with The Straits Times.
As the article has been marked a premium post, here’s a summary of what he shared.
After filming Ms Baey in the hostel toilet, Nicholas – a 3rd-year student in the NUS – claims he confessed his actions to his girlfriend soon after filming someone showering in the hostel toilet.
The confession came after his girlfriend received a message on her phone that there was a ‘Peeping Tom’ on the school campus.
The pair then arranged for a meet up with the victim, Ms Baey. Nicholas claims he took the opportunity to own up and apologise for his actions.
When asked if he confessed as he feared his identity getting revealed by surveillance cameras, he states that he simply didn’t want to “run away” from what he did.
In his words,
I did something wrong. I wasn’t planning to hide from it, to run.
When asked about why he decided to film Ms Baey in the shower, Nicholas claims he was not “dead drunk”, but simply “did not know what came over him”.
He had been celebrating after a touch rugby match with his team and passed the female toilets while on his way to his girlfriend’s room in Eusoff Hall, when he decided to act on his impulses.
In his own words,
The thought came and I did what I did. It was a hasty decision. I didn’t know who was inside. I wasn’t dead drunk.
After the incident, and NUS imposing sanctions on him – including a compulsory apology letter – Ms Baey posted a series of Insta-stories revealing her frustration at the judgement that was passed on the case.
At that point, Nicholas shared that he felt worried and scared after seeing Monica’s social media postings.
He wasn’t sure how to react at first but decided to inform his father and mother – a 69-year old taxi driver and 59-year-old housewife – about his mistake due to the intense media coverage it garnered.
This also coincided with a rather untimely tragedy in his family — his 83-year-old grandmother suffered a heart attack and died one day after he told his parents about the incident.
While he claimed that his grandmother’s demise was not linked to the incident, the coincidental nature of both events took an emotional toll on his parents.
The ordeal was a painful one for Nicholas, as he shared he felt terrible that his parents were constantly worried about him while seeing to his grandmother’s funeral.
As calls for harsher sanctions from the school emerged online, while netizens questioned police’s decision to give him a 12-month conditional warning, Nicholas decided to resign from as a financial adviser at Great Eastern Singapore after getting suspended by the company.
Nicholas also admitted that there were moments when he felt that he could “no longer hold it together” but was lucky to have support from his family, friends and even strangers, who continued to have faith in him despite all that had happened.
He is also thankful that his girlfriend has stuck by him throughout the incident.
Looking forward, Nicholas hopes that there will be less similar offences in the future.
He also conceded that while he is in no position to make judgments on what is right or wrong, he hopes that members of the public will realise the power and impact of social media from this incident, and use it for something that benefits society.
In ending, he apologised once again for his deeds and sought forgiveness for his actions.
I want to say that I have been and still am truly sorry for what I have done. Nobody should ever be put through the kind of trauma that I caused Monica. People have condemned me and my actions – I deserve it. I condemn myself. I seek everyone’s forgiveness.
He harbours the hope that he will become “a better person” — someone that his parents will “not ever be ashamed of in the future”.
Last Thursday (18 Apr), Monica Baey, a student in NUS took to social media asking for harsher punishment on her voyeur, who filmed her showering last November.
A media maelstrom ensued soon after, and sparked heated discussion among Singaporeans, with the majority asking for a review of NUS’ penalties towards sexual misconduct within school compounds & ample victim care.
NUS convened a Town Hall meeting yesterday (25 Apr), which was attended by around 600 students to address the issue.
What happened to Ms Baey was nothing short of a crime, but we can’t deny that the media scrutiny that followed for her perpetrator spiralled out of control a little too quickly.
When tempering justice with mercy, we can consider moving towards a more forgiving society if a person is indeed remorseful for their actions.
But we shouldn’t forget the work we need to put into shape laws, rules & infrastructure, to put a clean stop to similar cases in the future.
Now that Nicholas’ side has been revealed, what steps do you think we can take as a society moving forward?
Featured image from Instagram and Extol Singapore.
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