With the ubiquity of social media, we are regularly besieged by Instagram influencers and good-looking people showing off their best lives.
Regular admiration of their frame-worthy photos, however, can be a double-edged sword. While some look to these people for beauty or fashion inspiration, others may feel the urge to compare, which could perpetuate feelings of uncertainty about their looks.
People could feel unattractive for many reasons, and the effects of social media may be one of them.
We surveyed 100 Singaporeans to find out what makes them feel unattractive, and here is what they have to say.
As much as we hate to admit it, we’ve all had moments where we’ve compared ourselves to gorgeous influencers or popular classmates.
If we don’t feel like we match their standards of beauty, we often put ourselves down for not being tall, fair, and slender with lustrous hair or washboard abs.
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“I wish there were more content celebrating women who are curvier or more muscular than others,” one interviewee expressed, as she felt that plump people like herself deserve more attention rather than condemnation.
We detected a similar pattern in more than a few dozen answers: “seeing attractive people on social media”, “being plus-sized”, “getting body shamed”, and “not being most people’s ideal type because I’m fat”.
Words hurt deeper than a knife. And this saying rings true for a handful of respondents who are scarred by unkind remarks from their loved ones.
Even though some of these incidents had taken place a long time ago, the hurt they felt from those comments unsettles them to this very day.
“I’ll never forget how my uni classmate jokingly said I had a flat butt in front of my clique once. I cried after that. It’s been 9-10 years since then, but I can’t ever seem to forget that moment,” a 29-year-old accountant shared.
“Ah, it’s nice to meet you again, Mr Zit,” said nobody ever. Yet, these annoying red, swollen spots have the audacity to invade without an invitation.
When they start sprouting all over, it could feel as if things are out of your control.
“I have major acne problems due to hormonal imbalance, and I had to see a dermatologist,” one interviewee said, adding that it’s almost impossible to feel attractive with pulsating pimples marring most of her face.
In everyone’s social cliques, there’s always that 1 friend who is blessed with porcelain skin.
As we literally grew up with them during our most formative years in school, we were probably envious of their genes all the time while we struggled with skin issues.
Several respondents we spoke to suffer from eczema, a condition that causes the skin to become itchy, dry, rough, flakey, inflamed, and irritated.
“My eczema flares up around my mouth area. On some days, my skin would look so bad that no makeup could conceal the red patches,” said a 26-year-old senior bank officer, adding that it impacts her confidence when handling customers on the job.
Ask 10 girls on the street whether they’d prefer to date taller guys, and chances are, at least 7 or 8 of them would say ‘yes’.
When asked why, they’ll probably say standing next to a tall guy makes them feel more secure. Psychology Today affirms this theory, stating that a taller man is preferred from an evolutionary perspective because he’s believed to be stronger and can better protect his family.
“Imagine what that’s like for a 163cm guy like me when it comes to dating,” said a 22-year-old male interviewee. Thankfully, there are dating apps now, and he can easily toggle his preferences to choose girls in the 150-159cm range.
Most of us tend to nitpick at our own appearance. While we may fret over our least favourite part of our bodies, chances are they don’t really interfere with our daily lives.
However, those who have misaligned features might not be able to say the same.
One MS News respondent suffers from a lazy eye, a condition whereby one eye wanders inward or outward, resulting in poor vision. Hence, it’s difficult for them to believe that people would find them attractive.
Other conditions include a protruding jaw and misaligned teeth. A 25-year-old man shared that he had trouble dating in his teenage years because of this problem.
During the good ol’ days of watching dramas on cable TV, every ad segment seems to feature female models flaunting their shiny, voluminous hair in shampoo commercials.
In one way or another, some of us are conditioned to think that we have to have glossy hair to feel attractive.
“My hair is naturally thin, so I have hair envy all the time when I see influencers having thick, waist-length hair while mine feels like a pancake most of the time,” one interviewee related.
“I always struggle with greasiness, even if I’ve just washed my hair the night before. My hair looks a bit oily the next day, and I wish I had a blow dryer with me all the time,” another lamented.
While there’s no immediate solution to every factor that causes feelings of unattractiveness, there is a way to tackle some of them if the reasons are hair-related.
TK TrichoKare has a bevy of certified trichologists and hair & scalp specialists who will analyse your noggin’ and recommend treatment plans based on your hair and scalp conditions.
Step into any outlet, and the experience starts with a TrichoScan analysis, which provides a super intimate look of your crown with 200x magnification.
Then, depending on the health levels of your scalp, you’ll get a customised treatment plan that tackles the root of the problem.
As someone who has a sensitive scalp with minor flakes, the trichologist at the Ngee Ann City outlet recommended the following:
And last but not least, there is PhotoDynamic Therapy. The staff will place a futuristic-looking space ‘helmet’ on your head for about 15 minutes.
There’s no need to feel awkward, as you’re receiving laser light technology with antibacterial properties that support hair regeneration.
As someone who’s been working from home since the pandemic started, I’ve been plagued by worries that I might be suffering premature hair loss because I’m suddenly seeing strands of hair covering my floors almost every day.
Coupled with work stress and the occasional itchiness in my scalp, it’s no surprise that the trichologist said my scalp was a tad sensitive, sprinkled with flakes (dry skin) accompanied by sebum clogging some hair follicles.
Image courtesy of TK TrichoKare
Thankfully, the trichologist assured me that occasional hair loss is normal—humans usually lose about 30-40, or even 100 strands a day.
As preempted, the change pre and post-treatment wasn’t drastic as it was just a one-off sesh. But I relished how my scalp felt squeaky clean after absorbing all that much-needed nourishment at TK TrichoKare.
Image courtesy of TK TrichoKare
The ampoules worked their wonders, as I thought my hair looked fluffy and bouncier than normal, and this lasted for 2-3 days.
If hair woes are cramping your style, you’re in for a treat. You can book TK TrichoKare’s award-winning Advanced Scalp Detox & Care Treatment at $40 now.
Sign up for the pampering sesh, and you’ll receive a free hair serum and take home a hair care kit to prolong the TLC your hair sorely needs. More details here.
The world is going to be filled with many things that affirm our feelings of unattractiveness. It may be easy to surrender to negativity, but it doesn’t have to be that way.
We often tell ourselves stories about who we are and what we can do. To rise like a phoenix from the ashes of our self-deprecating thoughts, we need to change these stories into empowering ones.
When you feel consumed by negativity, take time to process them so you have the chance to reflect on them in a rational manner.
We can also be proactive in practising self-care. Remember to make time for important things in your life, such as exercising, eating healthy, or booking that much-needed spa session.
This is so that you can give the world the best of you, instead of what’s left of you.
This post was brought to you in collaboration with TK TrichoKare.
Featured image by MS News and adapted from Unsplash & Unsplash.
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