Recently, a Singaporean netizen sparked debate online after she asked how an average guy in Singapore is able to navigate the local dating scene.
She claims that “being an average man in Singapore is basically a dating death sentence”.
Her Reddit post on Monday (17 Aug) prompted netizens to discuss the state of the local dating scene and societal expectations.
In an anonymous post on r/asksg, the Original Poster (OP) claims she is a woman who is happily in a relationship.
After watching her friends use the dating platform Hinge, she wonders “how an average guy in Singapore is supposed to compete”.
Source: Julio Lopez on Pexels, for illustration purposes only
By her definition, the “average guy” is neither ugly, broke nor weird. But simply “just average” with a normal job and hobbies.
The general feedback she hears from her friends is that the men are “too short”, have a “boring job”, “no vibes” or “[look] average”.
Some of her friends even claims that they can “do better”.
According to the OP, one of the OP’s colleagues had a guy open the conversation with a “hello”.
Source: freestocks.org on Pexels, for illustration purposes only
For some reason, the colleague said the “hello” gave her “the ick” so “she ghosted him”.
The same colleague allegedly admitted that she will search a man on professional networking platform LinkedIn after matching with him on the app.
She will then check where he works and reject him if the job seems “too average”.
The OP questions the standards most women uphold in the dating scene.
“When you combine all these seemingly reasonable preferences of being tall, attractive, fit, successful funny […], aren’t we basically describing an above-average man?” she asks.
Additionally, the OP claims that it is ironic that the same women would complain that there are “no good men”.
Source: Min An on Pexels
She theorises that dating apps have made normal men feel mediocre because there may always someone better “one swipe away”.
“It seems like for men, if they don’t find a partner organically by the time they leave school, they’re basically fighting a losing battle,” the OP said.
At this point, does an average man basically have to become above average just to get an average dating experience?
Netizens appeared to have mixed feelings about the post, providing different perspectives to the topic.
The general consensus is that dating apps have distorted perceptions of standards, making appearance a forefront in choosing a partner even if it is unintentional.
A few netizens, claiming to be “average” men, weighed in with their experiences.
For one man, dating apps are the most promising options when it comes to finding a life partner.
Meanwhile, another 29-year-old man said that he “got tired of judging and being judged”.
He described Singaporeans as a “superficial and materialistic crowd”, and now prefers to be friends with someone before jumping into a relationship.
Source: Reddit
Others criticise the women for having “unrealistic expectations”, claiming that they have to regulate their standards or end up single.
Source: Reddit
But one netizen suggested that most people are probably not ready to start dating if they complain a lot about the opposite sex.
Source: Reddit
Additionally, another netizen suggested for men to work on themselves instead of asking prospective partners to “lower their standards”.
Source: Reddit
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Featured image adapted from Julio Lopez and Min An on Pexels.