One thing I’ve learnt after years of treating men is that they rarely come into my clinic saying: “Doctor, I think I have a sexual wellness issue.”
Instead, they’ll say they’re feeling tired. Or stressed. Or that their relationship hasn’t been the same recently.
Sometimes they’ll only mention erectile dysfunction or low libido right at the end of the consultation, almost as if they’re testing whether it’s safe to bring it up.
By the time they see me, many have already spent months on Google in hopes of better understanding their symptoms, trying out supplements, or simply hoping the problem will go away.
What this tells me is that despite all the information available today, there remains a disconnect between men seeking answers and men seeking help.
Many still struggle to reach out for help, suggesting conversations around sexual wellness continue to be shaped by gender norms.
Source: Unsplash
Many men grow up conditioned to believe they should be strong, capable, and always in control.
Sexual performance becomes tied to identity, so when something isn’t working as expected, it can feel like a personal failure instead of a medical issue.
It’s no surprise that embarrassment often keeps men silent for much longer than it should. The encouraging news is that this is slowly changing.
Compared to when I first started practising, today’s patients are generally more informed and more willing to seek help. Younger men are becoming more proactive about their health, while older men are increasingly recognising that sexual difficulties aren’t simply something they have to accept as part of growing older.
Conversations around testosterone, fertility, mental health, and healthy relationships have also become more mainstream, making it easier for men to ask questions without feeling judged.
People often assume that men only seek help for erectile dysfunction, but that’s just one part of the picture.
I see men for reduced libido, premature ejaculation, fertility concerns, difficulty losing weight, penile health, and even questions about whether what they’re experiencing is normal.
More often than not, my patients are looking for reassurance as much as they are looking for treatment.
Image courtesy of Dr Taufiq Rashid
One of the biggest misconceptions is that sexual problems always have a quick medical fix.
While medication can certainly help in many situations, sexual wellness is rarely just about one organ or one hormone. It reflects a person’s overall health.
I’ve had patients whose sexual symptoms turned out to be early signs of diabetes, cardiovascular disease, hormonal imbalances, poor sleep, chronic stress, or burnout.
Others had perfectly normal physical health, but anxiety, relationship difficulties, or unrealistic expectations were affecting their confidence and intimacy.
That’s why a good consultation looks at the whole person, not just the symptom. Another misconception is that sex therapy is only for couples in troubled relationships.
In reality, sex therapy is an evidence-based approach that helps individuals and couples understand the emotional, behavioural, and psychological aspects of sexual health.
It often complements medical treatment rather than replacing it.
So what stops men from seeking help? The biggest barrier is still embarrassment. Many worry they’ll be judged or that admitting to a sexual concern somehow makes them “less of a man”.
Others believe the problem will simply resolve on its own.
Unfortunately, waiting often allows both the physical condition and the emotional impact to become worse.
My advice is simple: If a sexual concern has persisted for several months, is causing you distress, affecting your relationship, or making you avoid intimacy altogether, don’t ignore it.
Sexual health is closely linked to overall health, and sometimes it’s the first sign that something else in the body needs attention.
We also all have a role to play in making these conversations easier. Partners can respond with empathy rather than blame.
Healthcare professionals should continue creating spaces where patients feel safe discussing intimate concerns without fear of judgement.
Image courtesy of Dr Taufiq Rashid
As a society, we should treat sexual wellness the same way we treat blood pressure, cholesterol, or mental health. It is an important part of overall wellbeing that deserves open, evidence-based conversations.
If you’re feeling embarrassed about seeking help, remember this: there is very little you can tell your doctor that they haven’t heard before.
We have these conversations every day, and our role is not to judge but to help. My hope is that Singapore continues moving away from silence and stigma towards education, prevention, and early intervention.
Sexual wellness isn’t simply about sex. It’s about confidence, relationships, physical health, and quality of life.
The sooner we normalise these conversations, the sooner more men can get the help they need without feeling ashamed to ask.
Dr Taufiq Rashid is a GP who focuses on men’s health, sexual health and weight management.
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Featured image adapted from Dr Muhammad Taufiq Rashid and Mathieu Stern on Unsplash.