Woman in S’pore says she has no friends in her 30s, wonders if it’s ‘normal’

Woman says she has no friends as an adult, believes she ‘doesn’t need them anyway’

A woman in Singapore has sparked discussion online after sharing that she has reached her 30s with no close friends, adding that she has slowly come to realise she may not “actually need them anyway”.

No friends as an adult in Singapore

In a post on r/askSingapore on 17 May, the Original Poster (OP) opened up about how years of one-sided friendships and shifting priorities have led to her becoming increasingly isolated as an adult.

While she admitted she was not entirely happy about it, she said she had learnt to accept the situation over time.

The OP described herself as “naturally introverted” and said she never enjoyed going out frequently, especially given Singapore’s high cost of living and crowded environments.

She added that she often struggled to relate to her “female friendships”.

According to the OP, many conversations revolved around “appearances, social media validation, or lifestyle flexing”, while she personally prioritised financial stability and long-term planning instead.

Friendships faded after she stopped reaching out first

The OP said she used to invest heavily in friendships by accommodating others and constantly checking in on them.

However, she eventually realised she was usually the one maintaining the relationships.

“When I went through a rough patch and actually needed support, there was basically no one there,” she said, adding that many friendships faded once she stopped reaching out first.

The OP also felt that some adult friendships in Singapore can feel “superficial or transactional”, claiming that certain people only reached out during occasions such as weddings or housewarming events.

She added that making genuine friendships as an adult can also be difficult, particularly in workplaces where office politics may get in the way.

Outside of work, she felt there were limited “organic” opportunities to meet new people and build meaningful connections.

Netizens say adult friendships become harder with age

Her post quickly resonated with netizens, with some saying they had experienced similar struggles maintaining friendships in adulthood.

One Redditor shared that friendships became more “nuanced” as they grew older.

Another commenter agreed, saying attempts to form new friendships often felt “superficial and one-sided”.

A Redditor urged the OP to take their time to find true friends who will be there for them.

Others said it was increasingly “normal” to have very few friends in one’s 30s, with one commenter joking that the “peace and quiet” eventually becomes addictive.

Also read: Opinion: How the S’porean dream of self-sufficiency is making us lonely

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Featured image adapted from William Chua on Canva, for illustration purposes only.