‘They only see 20% of my life’: Singaporean 90 Day Fiancé star Ally speaks out on hate over pregnancy with American boyfriend
A Singaporean woman appearing on American reality TV series 90 Day Fiancé: The Other Way has opened up about receiving online hate over her relationship with her American boyfriend and their decision to have a child before marriage.
Ally, whose full name is Alimna Yahuff, told MS News that she was surprised by the attention her story received in Singapore.
Picture courtesy of MS News
“When we applied, I thought nobody’s going to find out,” she said. “I didn’t expect I didn’t expect it to blow up in Singapore.”
“I’m quite nervous because I feel that Singaporeans can be very, very judgmental, especially since they don’t know the full truth.”
In the show, the couple are preparing to welcome a baby, with Jonathan leaving his life in Connecticut, United States (US), to join Ally in Singapore.
Despite the criticism, Ally, who works as a tech analyst, said she would not change her life to satisfy others.
She added that she hopes to represent women who have faced similar judgement for becoming pregnant before marriage.
Picture courtesy of TLC
Ally says Singaporeans judge her without knowing the full story
Ally and Jonathan initially applied to join 90 Day Fiancé: The Other Way almost as a joke, she told MS News.
At the time, they were applying for a visa so that Ally could move to the US.
She did not expect the show to attract much attention in Singapore.
“I didn’t expect Singaporeans to catch on to the show or watch it because I didn’t even know about the show,” she said.
However, the attention has brought criticism, with Ally saying much of the hate she encounters appears to come from Singaporean viewers.
She said some people labelled her an “SPG”, a derogatory term short for “Sarong Party Girl” to describe Asian women who seek relationships with Caucasian men.
Picture courtesy of TLC
“You don’t even know me at all. But okay, sure,” she said.
Ally acknowledged that signing up for reality TV meant opening herself up to public scrutiny. However, she believes viewers are only seeing a small part of her life.
“They only see 20% of my life. They don’t see the remaining 80%,” she said.
She added that she would not let other people’s opinions dictate how she lives.
“People are always going to judge,” she said. “I’m not supposed to live according to what other people think or believe.”
‘We were in love. We made a baby’: Ally on pregnancy before marriage
Ally described discovering her pregnancy as a major plot twist, especially since she had not expected to conceive so soon.
Before meeting Jonathan, she was in a four-year relationship that just ended.
She spent about five to six months single before meeting him, and eventually felt that he was someone she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.
The couple had been trying for a baby, although they were not married.
Ally said she has polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) and had not expected to become pregnant. She also said they believed Jonathan might have low testosterone levels, which contributed to their concerns about conceiving.
Source: 90 Day Fiancé on YouTube
The pregnancy came at an inconvenient time.
The couple had started the visa application process for Ally to move to the States, and she had suggested stopping their attempts to conceive because a pregnancy could complicate the process.
Instead, she found out she was pregnant about 1.5 months after they applied.
“I was not prepared. It’s a major plot twist for me,” she said.
For Ally, sharing her story on the show was also about challenging the stigma faced by women who become pregnant before marriage.
She said she wanted to be a voice for people in similar situations, who may be looked down upon as though they had committed a serious wrongdoing.
“We were in love. We made a baby. It’s not like I committed murder,” she told MS News.
Ally says her Muslim parents’ main concern was Jonathan’s religion
Ally’s relationship also comes with family and religious considerations.
Neither she nor Jonathan is religious, she said. However, her parents’ religious beliefs remain an important consideration when it comes to marriage.
When her parents first met Jonathan, they told him that he would have to convert to Islam if he wanted to marry her.
“They really liked him, but the only concern was the religion for them,” she said.
Ally acknowledged that some of her decisions may be viewed differently by people with more conservative values, particularly when it comes to relationships and having children before marriage.
Picture courtesy of MS News
She also believed that American viewers have generally been more supportive of her choices, while Singaporeans have been more critical.
“Obviously, I know when I’m making these choices, it’s not the right choice. But I’m going with my heart. I’m following my heart,” she said.
Nevertheless, she stressed that people should take responsibility for their decisions.
“Every time you make a mistake, it’s not the end of the world. You can always pick yourself back up and continue living life as it is,” she said.
“I feel like making mistakes builds character.”
Jonathan moved to Singapore to support Ally through pregnancy
The couple originally planned for Ally to move to the US, where Jonathan had an established life and children.
However, her pregnancy changed their plans.
Ally said she initially attended pregnancy appointments without Jonathan, sometimes accompanied by a friend.
But she found it upsetting not to have the person she loved, and the father of her baby, beside her.
They eventually decided that Jonathan should move to Singapore instead.
Source: 90 Day Fiancé on YouTube
For him, the move meant leaving behind his children, father, life and familiar surroundings.
“I’m just really thankful that he would do that,” Ally said, adding that she would “forever be grateful” for his decision.
The transition has not been easy. Jonathan has had to adjust to Singapore’s hot, humid weather, find work at short notice and get used to life without a car.
Ally said he still struggles to accept how expensive cars are in Singapore, despite her explaining the Certificate of Entitlement (COE) system to him.
He has also had to adapt to the pace of public transport, which initially surprised him.
When asked about his progress as a Singaporean husband-in-training, Ally said she noticed that he now rushes to board trains.
“He’ll be like, ‘Oh, faster, faster! We need to board the train’,” she said.
Ally reveals why she loves Jonathan’s armpit smell
Beyond the couple’s pregnancy and cultural differences, Ally has also attracted attention online for an unusual habit: her love for Jonathan’s armpit smell.
Source: @90dayofficial on TikTok
Speaking to MS News, Ally confirmed that her attraction to his scent was specific to Jonathan and had existed before her pregnancy.
“It just makes me feel so safe, and he doesn’t smell bad,” she told MS News.
“It’s only specific to John,” she said, clarifying that she had never had the same interest in any other man.
Ally’s focus is on motherhood and work
Despite the attention surrounding the show, Ally said her immediate priority is preparing for motherhood while returning to work as a tech analyst.
“I’m just like juggling being a mom and working right now,” she said.
She hopes viewers will understand that her relationship and pregnancy cannot be fully understood through what appears on screen.
Ally told MS News that while she accepts that people will have opinions about her decisions, she remains determined to live by her own values.
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Featured image adapted from 90 Day Fiancé on YouTube, @90dayofficial on TikTok and courtesy of TLC.
