Singaporean mum shares experiences of raising 7 children
On 30 Oct, Popping SG and Chicken Genius released a podcast interview with Pearlyn, a Singaporean mother of seven children.
The 36-year-old was deemed the woman “who can’t stop making babies”.
Source: Popping SG and Chicken Genius via YouTube
Family abuse & divorce
Pearlyn shared that she had four serious partners over the course of her life. She loved children, having had a maternal instinct from young.
She was 17 and unmarried when she had her first child. Her then-boyfriend, 18, met her over Friendster.
“I told my ex to purposely ‘shoot’ in,” she said, referring to not using contraception.
Pearlyn recalled being a “naughty girl in school”. As she was not staying with her parents at the time, she said there was no proper guidance to help her differentiate between right and wrong.
The father remarried another woman, whom Pearlyn alleged did not treat the child well.
Pearlyn’s son later went to prison for taking voyeuristic photos of others.
After giving birth to another son, she married her second partner in a shotgun marriage. The couple also had a daughter.
However, Pearlyn said that her second husband constantly cheated on her with other women. The two divorced a year after the birth of her daughter.
She revealed that she worked at a nightclub for ten years to support her kids, while the grandmother of her ex-partner took care of the children.
On average, Pearlyn brought home S$6,000 to S$7,000 a month.
While working at the club, she met her third husband, a navy serviceman.
The two shortly filed for divorce after Pearlyn cited irreconcilable differences in their conflict, calling him a “mama’s boy”.
Her current husband, whom she met at her workplace and married in 2o21, is the father of her two youngest children.
The couple have a son and daughter, aged five and six, respectively.
Struggles raising kids, future plans
When the host commented on the consistent results of her childbirth, she remarked: “My parents always say I’m very clever at giving birth.”
After her seventh child, Pearlyn found out that she was pregnant again three months later. But she told her husband that she could not give birth again, as it would not be fair to the children.
As she suffers from anaemia, Pearlyn said that she visited a doctor to seek medical advice on her pregnancy.
She also opened up about her second son, aged 15, who is diagnosed with ADHD. She was forced to put him in a children’s home due to not being able to handle his behaviour.
When asked how she managed to get four men to marry her when a lot of Singaporean women struggle to find a partner, Pearlyn responded that women are too scared to try, and their expectations are very high.
She believed this to be a contributing factor to the low birth rate in Singapore.
I feel like now the girls are so scared […] to give birth. I don’t understand why.
Financial difficulties of supporting four children
Pearlyn’s current husband later joined her on the podcast.
Having left his army job two years ago to spend more time with their children, he struggled to find a stable job.
Eventually, her husband declared bankruptcy after falling for a scam and accumulating S$70,000 in credit card debt.
He was also jailed for slapping Pearlyn’s second son, who hit his younger sister. The boy sustained a bruise on his eye, and his teachers filed a police report as a case of child abuse.
Source: Popping SG and Chicken Genius via YouTube
Currently, the couple struggles to make ends meet for their family.
Pearlyn works as a private-hire driver, driving for 12 hours a day. She said her job allowed her to keep flexible hours and take care of her children. She earns around S$3,000 a month after expenses such as car rental and petrol.
Her husband makes S$300 to S$700 from part-time work.
The couple receive S$890 through a government financial assistance scheme. They live in a one-bedroom HDB flat, with a monthly rent of S$50.
However, they continue to scrimp and save. Pearlyn said they sometimes had to borrow money from friends, and that her account balance could range anywhere from zero to S$50.
She rated her life as “nine out of 10” screwed. However, she said that she still maintained a positive outlook.
Because I have children, I cannot be always thinking of negative things.
Pearlyn said her priority is now letting her children grow up. She even told them not to have kids and make her a grandmother so soon.
Source: Rayofhope
‘I feel sorry for your kids’: Netizens express concern
The video sparked intense discourse online.
Many commenters felt sad on behalf of Pearlyn’s children and the family’s financial plight.
They believed it was important to be responsible when deciding to become a parent and be aware of how such decisions could affect one’s future children.
Source: YouTube
Some stated that simply wanting to have kids was not always enough to be a parent.
They stressed the importance of thinking ahead and having adequate financial means before starting a family.
Source: YouTube
One netizen pointed out that Pearlyn was seemingly unprepared to handle parenting a neurodivergent child.
Source: YouTube
Another netizen appreciated the upfront discussion about solutions to the couple’s financial situation, such as car downsizing.
Source: YouTube
Also read: Over S$430K raised for 6-year-old boy who lost parents to fatal Tampines hit-and-run accident
Over S$430K raised for 6-year-old boy who lost parents to fatal Tampines hit-and-run accident
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Featured image adapted from Popping SG and Chicken Genius via YouTube.