Woman questions if it’s normal to stop attending university friends’ gatherings after interests diverge
A Singapore woman has sparked an online discussion after sharing her concerns about losing interest in attending gatherings with her university friends, leading her to wonder if it’s normal to drift apart as life changes.
In a post shared on Monday (23 Feb) on Reddit, the Original Poster (OP) opened up about her growing disconnect from a friend group she once shared a close bond with.
Lost common ground after career switch
The OP explained that she had met her current group of friends during university, where she and her husband shared mutual friends.
However, after she switched careers, she found herself no longer in the same field as the rest of the group, causing their conversations to stray from topics she could relate to.
Image by MS News. For illustration purposes only.
“They often discuss company news, government regulations, and paperwork, topics I no longer relate to,” the OP shared in her post.
She added that her husband “thrives” during these gatherings, as he can relate and lead the discussions.
She, however, described herself as quieter in nature and has been feeling “more disconnected by the minute”.
From close-knit group to casual acquaintances
Over time, the group began to drift apart, and the OP admitted that what was once an inseparable bond now feels more like a casual acquaintance.
“I find the effort of attending these dinners increasingly exhausting. I am torn,” the OP shared.
Source: doidam10 on Canva. Image for illustration purposes only.
While she no longer enjoys the gatherings, the OP recognises that she has been losing touch with her friends, which has left her feeling isolated.
“Especially since making new friends in my 30s feels difficult,” she added.
“Is choosing to skip these dinners a matter of self-care, or am I just low [on] social capabilities?”
Netizens relate to life changes and share similar experiences
The post struck a chord with many netizens, who empathised with the OP’s struggles in outgrowing friendships during their 30s.
Several users reassured the OP that it’s a common experience to grow apart from friends as people change and evolve.
Source: Reddit
Others shared their own experiences, stating that they, too, had to let go of friendships when shared interests and values no longer aligned.
One Redditor commented that with the responsibilities of work, self-rest should be prioritised for friends with whom you have true connections.
Source: Reddit
However, one netizen offered a different perspective, suggesting the OP view the situation positively, as it provides the benefit of having “common friends” with her partner.
Source: Reddit
The OP responded thoughtfully, acknowledging the points made and expressing that she would pace herself, finding a balance between self-care and maintaining meaningful connections.
Source: Reddit
Also Read: ‘Am I lagging behind?’: Young S’poreans with non-traditional jobs speak out & share concerns
‘Am I lagging behind?’: Young S’poreans with non-traditional jobs speak out & share concerns
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Featured image adapted from MS News.
