Vietnamese woman seeks advice from netizens on ‘cultural differences’ with Singaporean husband
A Vietnamese woman who recently relocated to Singapore has shared some “cultural differences” that she has been facing with her Singaporean husband.
Close friendships with female colleagues
In a post on r/askSingapore on Tue 21 July. the 32-year-old said she had lived in Vietnam her entire life before moving to Singapore after marrying her 32-year-old Singaporean husband.
She shared that the couple had been arguing over several differences in expectations since she moved here three months ago.
One issue that bothered her was her husband’s close friendships with some of his female colleagues.
Source: Reddit
According to the Original Poster (OP), her husband and his female colleagues follow one another on Instagram. They also exchange funny reels and message each other outside of work.
While she acknowledged that the interactions were “not excessive”, she admitted they felt “a little odd” from her cultural perspective.
“He says this is completely normal in Singapore,” she said, adding that some of the colleagues were married and that the single ones tend to reply more often.
Only home after 10pm daily
The OP shared that her husband leaves home around 9am and usually returns home after 10pm as he goes to the gym after work.
When she expressed discomfort at the late hours, he claimed that “everyone in Singapore lives like this”.
Source: Dogu Tuncer from Pexels on Canva for illustration purposes only
According to her, her husband labels her “insecure” or “jealous”, while insisting that she needs to be more “open-minded” now that she’s living in Singapore.
While she understands that there’s a need to adapt, she felt that it isn’t realistic to “erase the cultural values” that have shaped her for 32 years overnight.
She asked whether other Vietnamese–Singaporean couples had similar experiences, and sought advice on how to communicate and compromise.
Netizens side with OP
A netizen felt that the OP’s husband was being dismissive of her feelings.
Source: Reddit
A Redditor also said that the OP was being “gaslit” as nobody heads to the gym for four hours.
Source: Reddit
A female commenter shared that the OP’s concerns are valid and that it wasn’t a matter of “cultural difference”.
Source: Reddit
Another netizen urged the OP to “have a good chat” with their husband on these issues to hear “what he has to say”.
Source: Reddit
Quit her job in Vietnam to move here
The OP also shared in the comments section that she had quit her job in Vietnam to relocate to Singapore after getting married.
“I’m literally alone here with only him as a close one,” said the OP, who holds a bachelor’s degree in Vietnam.
She also said that she wasn’t aware of these issues before they officially lived together as a married couple.
“Maybe it’s different from my culture, and maybe I just have to accept that my husband is not yet ready to give up single life,” she said.
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S’porean man demands S$1K ‘marriage fee’ monthly after Vietnamese wife discovers his affair
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Featured image adapted from chatsimo on Canva for illustration purposes only.
