Man Chooses To End Engagement After Fiancée Asks For More Dowry Money
Getting married can be quite an expensive affair, and sometimes, the costs may start piling up before the wedding planning even begins.
One of the reasons for this is dowries, which are presents and a sum of money gifted to the bride’s family by the groom’s.
For one man in China, the dowry led him to end his engagement when his fiancée asked for more money than what they initially agreed on.
Source: Arisa Chattasa on Unsplash, for illustration purposes only
He then decided to overhaul his life by quitting his job and using the dowry money to travel around China instead.
Uses up savings & borrows from friends for initial dowry amount
According to Jiupai News, the 35-year-old man, known only as Mr Zhu, put an end to his engagement after his fiancée asked for an extra 30,000 yuan (S$5,600) in dowry money.
Source: Weibo
Prior to this, they had already agreed on an amount of 188,000 yuan (S$34,900).
According to Mr Zhu, who hails from Shanxi, this dowry price is typical for his hometown.
He had met his now-former fiancée on a blind date, and they decided to get married after eight to nine months of dating.
As the wedding drew closer, she hinted in a phone call that her friends had requested an additional 30,000 yuan.
The sudden ask left him frustrated as he had no more money to give at that point.
Speaking to Xiaoxiang Morning Herald, he shared that he had used up his savings of 168,000 yuan (S$31,200) to pay for the dowry and borrowed the remaining 20,000 yuan (S$3,700) from friends.
The conversation led to a tense argument.
“We said that if this doesn’t work out, then it’s over,” Mr Zhu recalled.
He then hung up the phone, and they have not been in contact since.
“I guess that was a breakup,” he said.
Parents persuade man to reconsider decision after end of engagement
After informing his parents of the breakup, Mr Zhu said that they wanted him to try and work things out.
Nonetheless, he refused, saying that he did not feel it made sense and that everyone was under immense pressure, which is not the way he wanted it.
He elaborated that he had gradually started to feel pressured into marriage after turning 30. His parents were also urging him to find a partner quickly.
As a result, he went on a few blind dates, one of which led to his most recent engagement.
Upon the dissolution of the relationship, he wanted to unwind and go on a trip.
Although he had not planned on resigning from his job initially, he took the big leap after he was unable to get his leave approved.
Embarks on tour of China with money initially saved for dowry
With the dowry now returned to him fully, Mr Zhu gave the sum he had borrowed back to his friends.
This left him with 168,000 yuan, which he then used to embark on a tour of China.
Source: Douyin
Starting on 1 June, he set out to explore the many cities of his country, armed with only a backpack.
Over the course of five months, he explored over 40 cities, spending just over 30,000 yuan — a mere fraction of his savings.
Having relied on trains for transport and hostels for accommodation, his travels did not cost much.
Along the way, he documented his travels on Douyin, where he has since amassed over 43,000 followers.
Man plans to visit parents in Inner Mongolia when travels end
After everything that has happened, Mr Zhu stated that he is not actually against marriage or matchmaking.
“I feel uncomfortable every time I go on a blind date. I would go with her to Haidilao, watch a movie, or something like that, but my parents have never even had Haidilao,” he mused.
Furthermore, he revealed that his parents had planned to foot the down payment for his marital home, and he would then pay off the mortgage.
The thought of them wanting to buy him a property when they have not seen much of the world made his heart ache.
In addition, he has yet to tell them of his resignation, fearing that they would not be accepting of it and accuse him of being irresponsible.
That said, he does plan to visit them in Inner Mongolia once he stops travelling.
As of now, he stated that he has no concrete plans and is simply going wherever life takes him next.
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Featured image adapted from Douyin and Arisa Chattasa on Unsplash, for illustration purposes only.
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