Singapore Redditor questions common reasons for low birth rate, points to expectations of ‘perfect childhood’
A Singaporean Redditor has sparked discussion online after suggesting that the country’s low birth rates may not be mainly due to financial pressures.
Instead, they believe many Singaporeans feel they must give their children a “perfect life” before deciding to start a family.
Cost of living and space may not be the issue, says OP
Posting on the subreddit r/askSingapore on 15 March, the Original Poster (OP) questioned the common view that rising costs and limited space are the biggest reasons couples choose not to have children in Singapore.
According to the OP, many people often cite the high cost of living, small living spaces, and the expense of owning a car as key barriers to starting a family.
However, the Redditor argued that these factors may not fully explain the situation.
To illustrate their point, they cited Israel, which also faces high living costs and limited space.
Despite this, the country maintains a relatively high fertility rate of around 2.9 children per woman.
The OP suggested that a deeper mindset could be influencing decisions about parenthood.
OP says mindset may play a bigger role
“My take [is that] the biggest barrier to having kids in Singapore isn’t money,” the OP wrote. “It’s the belief that you need to give them a perfect life.”
They added that many Singaporeans may feel judged if they cannot provide what they perceive as the best opportunities and “stepping stones” for their children.
Source: Ministry of Social and Family Development for illustration purposes only
Because of this pressure, some couples may decide not to have children if they feel unable to provide an ideal upbringing.
The OP also shared the view that children can still benefit from growing up in less-than-perfect circumstances.
“Kids grow stronger through shared struggle, not through growing in the best environment,” they wrote.
Says imperfect childhoods can still be valuable
The Redditor also suggested that overly sheltered upbringings may make it harder for young people to cope with challenges later in life.
“If more Singaporeans believe it’s okay for kids to grow up in imperfect environments, they might be more willing to have kids,” they added.
Source: Families for Life for illustration purposes only
The post concluded by acknowledging that most parents naturally want their children to have a better life than they did.
However, the OP questioned whether the definition of a “better life” may sometimes be too “short-sighted”.
Netizens give their take on possible reasons
The post quickly sparked discussion among Reddit users, with many sharing their own perspectives.
One netizen said the decision ultimately depends on whether potential parents believe they are capable of raising children well.
Source: Reddit
Another commenter said that relying heavily on money to raise a child can become a “common parenting trap”.
Source: Reddit
Meanwhile, another user pointed out that some people may avoid having children because they want to spare them from similar struggles.
Source: Reddit
OP says mindset shift must come from self-reflection
Speaking to MS News, the OP — who has two sons and requested to be anonymous — said they wrote the post out of curiosity.
They had noticed many viral posts discussing cost, housing space, and car ownership as barriers to having children.
However, they also observed that these discussions often included very high expectations for what a child’s environment should be like.
“This just got me to wonder about the real reasons some parents are holding back,” the OP said.
When asked how such beliefs could change, the OP said that “it’s a very deep mindset or cultural belief”.
Source: Soundcloud, for illustration purposes only
They suggested that people may believe they would have been more successful if they had grown up in a better environment.
However, they added that many other factors contribute to a person’s life outcomes.
The OP believes that changing such mindsets will likely come through self-reflection and cultural storytelling.
” Movies, dramas or stories tend to allow people to relate to those characters and notice their own beliefs may not be the best,” they said.
“So if gov wants an actual change, it needs to start with stories.”
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Featured image adapted from damircudic on Canva for illustration purposes only.
