Avengers: Endgame Is The Longest MCU Movie To Date
After the epic 2 hours and 40 mins of Avengers: Infinity War, audiences were already dying to watch Endgame.
Hearing that Endgame is 3 hours long brought a smile to every Marvel fan’s face.
But here comes the problem as to how to fully maximise your time without any distractions.
As such we have compiled 7 ways you can prepare yourself to last through all 3 hours of Avengers: Endgame.
1. Purchase portable toilets
So what are portable toilets?
Simple answer: High-quality plastic bags.
Li Li Cheng Supermarket at in Punggol offers plastic bags to relieve yourself if you have a small bladder.
At an affordable price of $0.60, $0.70 and $0.80 for small, medium and large plastic bags respectively, you’ll never have to leave your seat.
All you need to do is pull out your trusty portable toilet and you’re good to go — that is if you don’t mind the stares and potential overnight media stardom.
If all else fails, just get yourself a diaper.
2. Refrain from consuming spicy food
Walking around during a movie can ruin someone else’s experience. Imagine if someone blocks your view just as Thanos snaps his fingers.
To prevent yourself from missing out on any part of Endgame or worse ruining someone else’s experience, we suggest you don’t consume any spicy food 3 days before the movie.
No Ma La Xiang Guo, Spicy Korean Noodles or McSpicy at all.
The is a strong correlation between consuming spicy food and needing to use the washroom so please control your Mala urges.
If you’re afraid that someone you are watching with doesn’t follow respect the movie enough, you can get them to sign this consent form.
3. Avoid caffeine
As a follow-up to point 2, do not consume any drinks that contain caffeine right before or during the movie.
Yes, that includes bubble tea in every form.
Caffeine is a diuretic, meaning that it will make you pee more. Unless you already prepared the portable toilet from point 1, we suggest you satisfy your cravings later.
4. Calm your bladder
Believe it or not, there is actually a full article on how to control your bladder through training. So you can practice holding in your urine if you die-die must drink bubble tea.
You can view the whole article but we have summarised the 4 main points for you below.
- Practice pelvic floor exercises
- Make a bathroom diary to track when you pee
- Also track how much you pee
- Try to make your bladder follow a schedule
I didn’t make this up. The list really exists. View the full post here.
5. Fill your belly, but don’t eat too much
Before you enter the cinema, make sure you have filled your bellies sufficiently to satiate your hunger.
But what if you have a Hulk-like secret, like this random dude?
Just remember to have a proper meal before the movie, but nothing too spicy. If your stomach growls, let me be the first to say it is unacceptable. Sneaking in illegal snacks is also not cool.
I will not have any noise distracting me from the movie — including the munching of KFC Bandito Pockets, McWings or the familiar rustle of plastic packaging.
6. Have adequate rest
Rest is important. But Endgame is more important.
Ensuring that you have adequate rest means that you are able to keep wide-awake during the entire 3 hours.
If you fall asleep, it is your loss. However, if you start to snore while sleeping, your safety’s not guaranteed.
7. Avoid the internet for spoilers
Every Marvel fan is afraid that there will be spoilers on the internet and trust me there already are.
To avoid this, we suggest that you don’t search for anything related to Marvel. Or even better, isolate yourself until you get a chance to see the movie.
We’re in the endgame now
All good things all come to an end.
While fans are saddened that this marks the end of the Avengers series, we can be glad that it is 3-hours long.
As long as you follow our 7 simple steps, you can make watching the movie a pleasant experience for you and everyone watching with you.
We’re in the endgame now. Better make your 3 glorious hours in the Marvel Universe count.