Guest Feels Guilty For Attending Friend’s Wedding & Not Giving S$250+ Angbao
Weddings in Singapore can be extravagant affairs, often held at fancy hotels with banquets costing several hundred dollars per pax. Although nobody mentions it explicitly, guests are expected to fork out money — a wedding angbao to be specific — to cover the costs.
Depending on the meal and venue, the angbao rates may vary, with luxury hotels, of course, costing more.
Such a reality left one Redditor in quite a predicament after they found themself unable to afford the angbao for a friend’s wedding.
Hoping to find a solution, they took to the platform to seek advice from other users.
Bride asks Redditor about missing wedding angbao
The Redditor, whose profile appears to have been deleted, took to the askSingapore subreddit on Friday (15 Dec) to share their experience.
Source: Reddit
Earlier this year, they attended a friend’s weekend wedding at a 5-star hotel, which allegedly has angbao rates exceeding S$250.
Before accepting the invitation, the Redditor insinuated that they had more things to pay for, in an attempt to imply their financial situation. However, they were unsure what their friend made of it.
When the wedding day came around, they found themself “living paycheck to paycheck” without enough money to afford a wedding angbao.
Nevertheless, they attended the wedding but left without ‘paying’ for the meal.
Several days later, the Redditor purportedly received a text from the bride asking where their angbao was. According to them, the text was “worded politely”, with the bride saying she couldn’t locate the Redditor’s angbao despite finding everyone else’s.
Perhaps not wishing to accuse anyone of anything, the bride wondered if the Redditor may have forgotten to give it.
Redditor seeks advice online
Taken by surprise, the Redditor couldn’t decide what to say. They thus left the conversation and turned to Reddit to seek users’ opinions.
To them, ‘ghosting’ the bride is not an option as they value the friendship. However, they were in a rut as they only had S$50 to spare after settling their bills.
Responses to the post ranged from helpful to critical of the OP for having failed to take several steps to avoid the situation in the first place.
One commenter highlighted that this wouldn’t have happened if the OP had been honest with their friend from the start. But since the incident already happened, they merely wished the OP well.
Source: Reddit
Another Redditor chided the OP for attending the wedding without giving any token of appreciation at all. They noted that the OP could have simply declined the invitation if they were truly unable to afford the angbao.
Source: Reddit
Having considered the different comments, the OP updated the post to thank everyone who contributed and to reveal their next steps.
Source: Reddit
They admitted their fault as pointed out by other Redditors and said they had paid their friend — the bride — a token sum. They would then pay the remainder through a “nice meal” for the friend in the future.
Wedding finances a contentious topic
This isn’t the first time the issue of wedding angbaos has caused quite a stir. Late last year, a pair of newlyweds in Malaysia reportedly criticised their guests for only giving an angbao containing RM20 (S$5.70) at their wedding.
An X user’s recent hot take on the topic has gone viral online, calling couples out for holding extravagant weddings and “expecting their guests to cover their share”.
Source: X
In the user’s opinion, couples shouldn’t host such grand weddings if they can’t afford to shoulder the full cost themselves.
What are your thoughts on the matter? Share them with us in the comments.
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Featured image adapted from momcilog on Canva and chatchaiyo on Canva, for illustration purposes only.
