Parents rule with fear
As the saying goes, “If you can’t make them like you, make them fear you.”.
Our parents have unfortunately taken their own spin on this quote, which made them the ultimate ruler of our childhood and teenage years.
Here are 15 lies our parents used to tell us:
1. “If you do not finish the rice on your plate your future boyfriend/girlfriend will have a pimply face.”
The classic lie parents use all the time just to make sure their children do not waste any food.
2. “If they look for mommy, tell them I am not home.”
The doorbell rings and you happily hop over to the door thinking that your McDelivery has arrived.
However, to your dismay, it happens to be a door-to-door salesperson.
“Hi boy, are your parents home?” he asks enthusiastically despite the dark circles under his eyes.
As you tilt your head back to call for your mom, you see your mom waving frantically making weird gestures with a panicky face.
“Sorry, none of my parents are home.”
3. “If you don’t behave yourself, ah pu neh neh will catch you.”
Whatever crime has the Indians in our neighbourhood committed to deserve such discrimination?
Of course, parents do not mean to be racist when they say this to their children — they’re just trying to scare them (although it does not work).
4. “If you don’t listen to me I will call police.”
Again another threat that has never materialised.
Still, this is more terrifying than #3; we don’t want to be thrown behind bars for not keeping our toys!
5. Everything bad happens because you didn’t eat your vegetables
It doesn’t matter if you are having a headache, sprained your ankle or are feeling sleepy.
You don’t have to see a doctor if you are feeling ill because your parents know exactly what’s up.
The reason — because you didn’t eat your peas for dinner last night.
6. You’re sick because you keep using your phone
Similar to #5, if you have sore eyes or a migraine it is because you are always on the phone.
What do you mean that’s not true — didn’t you see your parents’ self-qualified medical degree?
7. “We will come back and buy toys tomorrow.”
The all-time lie we hated the most when we were six because we NEVER did return to Toys R’ Us.
8. “Your teeth will all fall off if you don’t brush them.”
And as a kid you freaked out when your first milk tooth fell as you regretfully recalled all the times you lied about brushing your teeth.
9. “Worms will grow in your tummy if you eat too much candy.”
Just another excuse for ’em grown-ups to keep all the candy for themselves!!
10. “If you swallow a watermelon seed, a tree will grow in your tummy.”
Some children get excited over the idea of having a tree in their tummy while some boycott fruits with seeds altogether.
11. “If you laugh too loud at night the ghost will come after you.”
The ultimate lie that will put children to bed by 10pm and adults can watch their Korean drama in peace.
That is, until you come out and tell the grown-ups you’re too scared to sleep alone.
12. “If you don’t study hard you have to be a garbage man in the future.”
Nothing is wrong with being a garbage man, but it is not everyone’s ideal job because it is strenuous work.
This lie guarantees a 90% success rate that will last for approximately five minutes when parents use this on their children.
13. “Your cousin is first in school because she doesn’t play and studies all day long.”
Every time your family gathers for dinner you get to hear all her escapades — sneaking out to meet her friends at 1 am and skipping classes when she’s unwell.
Then you wonder how it is possible for someone to have a social life and yet get good grades?
14. “You will get cancer if you dye your hair.”
Your parents are really saving you the hassle of having to deal with frizzy and spoiled hair.
Perhaps they are also saving on monthly hair treatment after you dye your hair.
15. “If you point at the moon you will wake up with a cut on your ear.”
Definitely not true but no child is bold enough to prove this myth wrong.
Your parents still love you nonetheless
They may have double standards in their parenting – like how they can tell blatant lies and you can’t.
But 10 years down the road, you will be laughing it off like how we are now!
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Featured image via Wong Fu Productions