Gender Equality Bureau in Japan sparks debate saying ‘not paying any dating expenses’ is domestic violence
A government chart from Japan has reignited debates about dating etiquette after netizens noticed it categorised “not paying any dating expenses” as a form of domestic violence.
The chart, published by the Gender Equality Bureau in 2018, outlines various forms of domestic violence, dividing them into psychological, physical, economic, and sexual categories.
One example under economic violence — refusing to pay any dating expenses — has sparked intense reactions online.
Chart resurfaces, netizens react
On 10 Dec, an X user shared the chart, with several examples listed under each form of violence.
Examples include limiting friendships, monitoring and controlling behaviour, forced sex, rejecting contraception, forcing abortion, making one quit their job and more.
Source: Gender Equality Bureau
However, the X post highlighted one specific form of economic violence: not paying any dating expenses at all.
The chart’s resurfacing reignited discussions about the expectations placed on individuals during dates.
The post quickly went viral, amassing more than 2.4 million views, nearly 300 comments, and 24,000 likes.
Some commenters were critical, questioning whether this definition implied that women who expect men to cover all dating costs are domestic abusers.
Others expressed disbelief, questioning if this equates women who don’t pay during dates to men pressuring women into visiting love hotels afterward.
Agency clarifies earlier controversy
This isn’t the first time the chart has made waves. Earlier this year, local media approached the Gender Equality Bureau after a similar incident.
The agency clarified in an interview on 29 May that not paying for a date alone doesn’t automatically qualify as domestic violence.
“If someone is expected to pay for a date but unilaterally makes the other person pay, then it is considered domestic violence,” the representative said.
The representative also added that context matters and situations should be judged on a case-by-case basis.
They also noted that economic violence isn’t gender-specific, affecting both men and women in relationships.
Also read: Man in Korea kills woman who requested breakup after dating for 19 days, gets life imprisonment
Man in Korea kills woman who requested breakup after dating for 19 days, gets life imprisonment
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