Local man says society doesn’t allow Singapore guys to stand out, making them ‘boring’
Singapore guys are often labelled as “boring” in conversations about the local dating scene. However, one man believes the issue may have more to do with how they were brought up.
Singapore guys are ‘boring’
In a TikTok video posted on 12 July, @sgproverbs shared his thoughts on why many Singaporean men may be afraid to express themselves.
The Original Poster (OP) said he had seen numerous videos saying the local dating scene is “bad” and how local men are “boring”.
@sgproverbs Seems that many Singapore girls find Singapore guys ‘boring’ and complain that they are performative and not being genuine and authentic. Like I thought about this question a lot because it still seems to be a recurring topic and conversation. Firstly, have people ever wondered why guys are the way they are? The social conditioning in Singapore simply doesn’t allow guys to stand out. Without ‘victimising’ guys ah, but we are never really allowed to be ourselves. We are conditioned to be part of a whole and part of a system. From a very young age, a lot of guys here are being tamed to follow a societal norm and this gets even stronger when boys hit NS. The constant scolding ‘why you f** up!’, ‘why you like that!’ — like it creates an environment where guys are very afraid to stand out. And this is more present here than in other countries. Singapore social conditioning is next level, especially for guys. Maybe this delivers some explanations as to why guys seem very boring and this whole dating scene is seen as very ‘sterile’ — sterile is an exteme word lah but I use it to describe that dating here doesn’t get anywhere and keeps birth rates low (seemingly) #singapore #sgtiktokers🇸🇬 #singaporedating #mindset #singlish
According to him, most women simply want a man who is authentic and comfortable being himself. However, he shared that this was easier said than done.
He suggested that many Singaporean men struggle to be themselves because they have been conditioned to fit into society rather than stand out.
He stressed that his observations were based on his own experiences and acknowledged that women may face similar pressures too.
Social conditioning starts early
The OP explained that this conditioning begins in childhood. For example, parents may scold or question their sons over seemingly small matters.
He added that this social conditioning “actually gets reinforced” when young men serve National Service (NS).
During this period of strict discipline and constant correction, making mistakes or standing out is even more undesirable.
Source: @sgproverbs on TikTok
He also recalled hearing common phrases such as, “eh what time already ah?” and “why you co** up?”.
Over time, he believes this leads many to think that pursuing their own interests or expressing their true personalities could attract criticism from others.
As a result, some end up conforming to what they believe society expects of them instead. He also invited netizens to share whether they found his observations relatable and if it applied to them.
Netizens provide their own take on issue
A netizen felt that it was “more of a physical environment issue rather than a social environment issue”.
Source: TikTok
A commenter shared that they keep their hobbies a secret because they fear being judged.
Source: TikTok
A TikTok user drew a comparison between the strict traditional parenting practised locally and the more liberal methods of the Western world.
Source: TikTok
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Featured image adapted from @sgproverbs on TikTok.
