Content warning: This article mentions suicide. Reader discretion is advised.
How the suicide of a friend’s daughter sparked this woman’s anti-bullying mission
In a world dominated by social media’s negative influence, Kristabel Quek, 39, has chosen to turn it into a force for good.
Inspired by a friend’s heartbreaking personal tragedy, she founded an Anti-Bullying Movement on Facebook with the goal of supporting those affected by bullying.
Source: Anti-Bullying Movement on Facebook
Her mission is simple yet powerful: raise awareness, encourage critical conversations, and create a global community that empowers victims while educating both bystanders and perpetrators alike.
The inspiration behind the anti-bullying movement
Ms Quek’s journey began when she came across an Instagram video depicting an altercation between a “bully” and their “victim”, and how the victim successfully defused the situation.
The video struck a deep chord with her, triggering memories of a close friend’s daughter who tragically took her own life due to the emotional scars left by bullying.
“If my friend’s daughter were still alive, she might have felt better after watching that video and may never have taken her own life,” she reflected.
Ms Quek told MS News that when she tried sharing the video within Facebook groups, she quickly realised the absence of any meaningful support.
This motivated her to create a Facebook group dedicated to providing the much-needed support to victims of bullying.
“Actually, a part of me wished my friend had brought her daughter to me. I was worried about the suicide possibilities,” said Ms Quek, who’s the co-founder of edgex Pte Ltd.
“Now, I can only turn her story into a purpose to help others.”
A safe haven for victims and bullies
Rather than just focusing on victims, Ms Quek’s movement promotes a holistic approach to combating bullying, recognising that it affects more than just schoolchildren — it impacts workplaces, families, and communities, too.
Through the Facebook group, Ms Quek encourages people to share their experiences, exchange advice, and create a safe space for victims and even bullies to reflect and grow.
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“For those who may have unconsciously become the bully, I hope this raises awareness and helps them realise that their actions are hurtful — and that they have the power to stop,” she explains.
To ensure a safe space for everyone, Ms Quek has implemented post-approval settings and allows for anonymous sharing.
This protects both victims and bullies from doxxing or public shaming, fostering more constructive dialogue.
The power of conversation
Since launching the movement, Ms Quek has found that the journey is slow but meaningful.
The group has grown to more than 100 members, with some sharing their personal stories.
One member anonymously revealed they were being bullied at work but hadn’t recognised it.
This led them to feel guilty and believe it was their fault, prompting the admin to remind them that the blame should never fall on the person being bullied.
While engagement is still growing, the movement has already sparked thought-provoking discussions among friends and members, notably, on toxic relationships.
Ms Quek shared: “One of my best friends admitted to having been a bully in school, though I had never perceived her that way.”
She added: “My friend’s daughter chose to end her life because she was ostracised by the very people she thought were her friends.”
These days, there are many conversations about toxic relationships — could your best friend actually be your bully?
She continues to refine the movement’s direction, understanding its complexity. However, she believes that starting conversations is the first step, as real change begins with discussions that promote self-reflection and awareness.
Building a resilient community
Ms Quek says she is committed to building more than just an online support group.
She envisions a resource hub, where members can collaborate on a “playbook” and create strategies to build resilience in the face of bullying.
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She suggests that the younger generations might be too comfortable these days, causing even small challenges to feel like insurmountable obstacles.
As such, there’s a need to equip people with the tools to face adversity with strength and confidence.
Ms Quek also notes that victims sometimes don’t even realise they’re being bullied, while others may unconsciously adopt a victim mentality.
It’s a delicate balance, and it’s crucial to create a space where both perspectives can be discussed constructively.
Her core message to victims of bullying is one of self-confidence and resilience: “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Be brave and live. Life is not fair, but believe in yourself so that you don’t have to rely on others to believe in you.”
Awareness and education are key
Ms Quek stresses that awareness is key to preventing bullying, but what’s most important is managing the psychological toll it takes on victims.
According to a study led by a National Institute of Education (NIE) researcher, about one in four students in primary school experienced bullying, with a small number also admitting to being bullies themselves. The data was collected between 2018 and 2019.
“Once bullying has happened, we cannot turn back the clock to undo it, we need to manage the aftermath,” she told MS News.
“But most importantly, I hope to find ways to help people find confidence in themselves in a good way. I think confidence is a crucial defence to bullying.”
For those currently experiencing bullying, Ms Quek’s message focuses on empowerment rather than passive endurance.
She said: “I would advise the person to first understand that they cannot control the actions of others. It is not their fault for being bullied. Bullies are oftentimes people who need help themselves.“
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She suggested that victims of bullying be compassionate and accept what has happened, while finding ways to move forward by forgiving the bully and distancing themselves as much as possible.
“Also, do let the bully know that their actions hurt you, because I realised some bullies didn’t know they were acting like one,” she continued.
For cases involving intentional and severe bullying, she strongly advises seeking help from authorities or professionals. “Bullying that involves physical, emotional, or mental abuse requires professional intervention. No one should suffer in silence.”
How the public and community can help
Ms Quek urges the public and community to take an active role in combating bullying.
“When an individual sees someone else being bullied, I hope they can step in to point out that someone is being a bully, as a bully is emboldened by the lack of resistance from others,” she noted.
For those who want to contribute, she suggests the following:
- Join the Facebook group to share experiences and support others
- Share personal stories to shed light on the different forms of bullying
- Encourage former bullies to speak out about their past mistakes and growth
- Provide professional insights for those seeking help
“There are so many possibilities with this movement. This is just the beginning and this can become anything. It is currently a blank slate and I look forward to external contributions.”
The future of the anti-bullying movement
Ms Quek hopes to collaborate with organisations, schools, and mental health professionals as the movement gains traction to expand its reach.
While she hasn’t yet partnered with any external entities, she welcomes contributions from anyone willing to help.
“I don’t see myself as an owner of this movement, I want it to be a collaborative effort, and for organisations, schools, or experts from all over the world to contribute generously,” she said.
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While formal initiatives and campaigns are still in the works, she remains focused on consistently sharing valuable content and resources.
“I might work with my friend who organises “what the fail” sessions to talk about it. Otherwise, for now, I will keep sharing useful materials till it gains traction. If there is a demand for something like this, it will grow,” she added.
A call for kindness and strength
Miss Quek’s anti-bullying movement is not only about addressing the pain caused by bullying; it’s about creating a world where people lift each other up instead of tearing each other down.
The journey is still in its early stages, but her vision and message are clear:
Everyone is fighting their own battles — be kind and compassionate. Be resilient. Stand tall after every fall. Show your battle scars so others know you are a survivor. Be proud of your scars because you have survived.
Also read: Mother of bullied S’pore teen grieves daughter’s suicide, now advocates for youth mental health
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