MS Features: CEO of Singapore matchmaking agency Lunch Actually
For the past 21 years, Violet Lim, 45, has been playing Cupid in matchmaking.
The CEO & Co-Founder of matchmaking agency Lunch Actually left behind a promising career in law and banking to start her own business at just 24 years old.
Today, her agency has arranged 160,000 first dates, boasts an 85% satisfaction rate, and has matched 4,500 happy couples across five countries.
She sits down with MS News to spill the secrets to finding love, and why matchmaking is not for the faint of heart.
Matchmaking agency succeeded where others could not
Stepping into her office, almost everything — from the plush chairs to the accent walls — was purple.
A warm yellow ceiling light cast a glow over framed photos of smiling couples, a visual testament to the lives she had transformed.
When Violet entered the room, she was dressed head to toe in a purple suit.
When asked about the colour choice, she said: “Red is too aggressive. Yellow is too loud. Purple felt just right. Plus… my name is Violet.”
It was clear — this company was more than just a business. It was an extension of her identity.
But even with her passion and decades of success in the matchmaking industry, Violet admitted: “It’s definitely not easy.”
“This industry is very labour intensive, and it’s difficult to flourish here.”
She said that many of her industry partners have left the industry, with some even advising her to leave while she is still young.
Over the past few years, multiple matchmaking agencies have folded — including Singapore’s Social Development Unit (SDU), a government initiative launched in 1984 to encourage graduate marriages.
In November 2023, the Ministry of Social and Family Development (MSF) officially shut down its matchmaking arm, citing declining membership and the rise of dating apps.
With matchmaking shifting to the private sector, Lunch Actually has stood its ground — but not without struggle.
This is a people business, and people are complicated.
A business of emotions
“This isn’t like the Apple store where you just pay and they sell any product you want to you,” Violet said.
With different clients having different criteria and challenges despite coming from similar backgrounds, her job is more complicated than that.
“In a matchmaking service, our clients are like our products in some sense since we are matching our clients to each other.”
One of the hardest parts? Dealing with difficult clients.
She cites one case where her consultant — who entered the industry hoping to help people find love — was blamed and scolded for a poor match and ended up breaking down in tears.
“I really need to remind myself about why I do this. There are some days that it gets really tough,” said Violet.
On those days, she opens up an internal company chat group she has with the other consultants called One Million Happy Marriages.
The group chat holds pictures of clients who had stayed together, or even married the person they met from Lunch Actually.
They get even more excited when the Lunch Actually couples have children, and they loosely term those babies LABs, or Lunch Actually Babies.
These success stories give them purpose, direction, and a reminder of why they do what they do.
“Why am I paying for this?”: The matchmaking criticism never stops
Despite its success stories, Lunch Actually faces constant scrutiny.
Some clients say the matches are not “serious enough”.
Others complain that the dates feel one-sided, and then there are those who blame the agency when they do not get a second date.
Violet hears it all.
“People say, ‘Why am I paying for this? The people you introduce me to aren’t even my type.’ But what they don’t realise is… sometimes the issue isn’t the other person. It’s them.”
Lunch Actually’s client pool is 60% female, 40% male, with a strong presence in the 30s to 40s age group.
“We get women who say, ‘I’m in the top 5% of Singapore. Just match me with men who are also top 5%,’” shared Violet.
This is not a new challenge. Violet recalls encountering such expectations about 10 years into her career.
Many think that dating is just about collecting data — how much their date earns, where they studied — and that’s where they lose.
With the wrong mindset, they subconsciously present themselves wrongly and give off bad impressions.
“I remember a male client told me that he felt as if his date had a machine gun, because she kept shooting [questions] at him,” said Violet.
And while she ensures these women are matched with high-earning, well-educated men, many still struggle to find a spark.
“When it comes to dating criteria, the priority is slightly different for men and women,” she explained.
“For men, physical attributes usually rank high in their priority — things like age, body type, and physical attraction. Women, on the other hand, often prioritise compatibility in education and career.”
That difference in priorities often leads to a mismatch in expectations.
“Both genders could come across as picky — just in different areas,” said Violet.
Doing her best to make matchmaking work
Despite the backlash, Violet is clear — her work is not just about profit but about the clients who are seeking love.
Lunch Actually’s merger with dating app Paktor in September 2024 significantly increased their matchmaking pool by 50%, allowing for better matches.
To address concerns about service quality, they have also expanded their customer care team, launched an app for smoother communication, and scheduled regular check-ins with clients.
But ultimately, even with all the data, research, and effort, love is still unpredictable.
After all, what she cannot guarantee is chemistry between the parties involved.
Lunch Actually has also introduced coaching courses that help to guide clients to increase their chances of matches and good dates.
She raised two key aspects that have to be focused on when going into dating: mindset, of being open-minded, receptive and not judgemental, and skillset, which includes how one carries themselves.
Matchmaking is more than just a checklist
So, how does one become more appealing? It’s not just about looks or status.
Violet believes many singles sabotage themselves by focusing on the wrong things.
She recalled a female client— an Ivy League graduate, high-earning, active in community service. On paper, a catch.
“But during dates, she was very aggressive and masculine, always wanting to have the last say.”
Violet always tells her clients that the objective of a first date is to score a second date.
“To score a second date, the person must feel that you are attractive, that you are very interesting. If you go into the date with that mindset, your vibe will be very different,” she said.
Be interesting, be attractive, show your passions and hobbies, she advised.
How to be more attractive? Be who you want to date, says CEO
Even in her own love story, Violet defied expectations.
“When I met my husband, I wasn’t his type,” she admitted.
Violet shared that he did not notice her the first time they met in university.
However, when she ran for president of a student society, he was impressed by her speech and intrigued by her energy and confidence.
He then struck up a conversation with her and the rest is history.
Source: Lunch Actually website
Ultimately, attraction is not about ticking off boxes — it is about making someone feel something.
To find love, be the kind of person someone wants to fall in love with.
“It’s not just about meeting the right person,” she said. “It’s about being the right one, meeting the right one, and choosing the right one.”
And with that, she straightened her purple blazer, smiled, and got ready for her next matchmaking consultation — with another hopeful single searching for love.
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Featured image by MS News.
