Internet Urges Taiwanese Woman To Dump Boyfriend Who Asked To Go Dutch On Engagement Ring
Marriage proposals, elaborate or simple, have one thing in common — an engagement ring.
Traditionally, the man is expected to be the one to fork out an exorbitant amount of money for the tiny piece of jewellery.
That is probably why one Taiwanese woman’s story has netizens up in arms and calling for her to dump her beau.
The woman recently took to an online forum to rant about her boyfriend, who allegedly asked her to marry him… and then asked her to pay back half the cost of the engagement ring.
Source: Korie Cull on Unsplash, for illustration purposes only
The woman later added that she would discuss with her boyfriend on money matters before deciding what to do next.
Taiwanese couple splits cost on everything
On 20 Dec 2022, the anonymous woman took to Taiwanese social media platform Dcard to seek advice following her boyfriend’s unusual proposal.
Apparently, asking her to marry him wasn’t his only request.
According to the woman, she and her boyfriend have been in a stable relationship for the past four years.
Ever since they started dating, they have gone Dutch on almost everything that involves spending money, even on small things like a S$0.90 (20 TWD) bottle of water.
The OP clarified that the problem isn’t her boyfriend’s lack of finances, as he actually earns quite a lot.
“He always pays back what he owes me if I foot the bill first,” she said.
Asks to pay back half the cost of engagement ring
While the woman stated that she has come to respect the fact that everyone has different ideas about money, things came to a head when the boyfriend decided to pop the question.
One weekend, as they were surrounded by friends, he took out a diamond ring and proposed to the OP.
Source: Anna Pou on Pexels, for illustration purposes only.
Naturally, she was delighted.
But when they got home, her boyfriend told her that he had spent a long time picking out the diamond ring and that it cost around S$6,540 (150,000 TWD). He then said,
It’s okay. You can slowly transfer S$3,270 (75,000 TWD) to me.
Stunned, the woman asked if he was expecting to split the cost of his proposal ring with her, to which he replied, “Marriage is between the two of us, shouldn’t we go Dutch?”
When she pointed out that the engagement ring should be a gift from the man to the woman, he said, “Should men be the ones paying more when they get married?”
Netizens advise woman to leave boyfriend
Sadly but unsurprisingly, the incident caused a rift in their relationship.
They fell into a bit of an “awkward cold war”, and the man never brought up the topic of the engagement ring.
The woman also didn’t dare to wear the ring because it made her feel like she was “taking advantage” of her boyfriend.
“It made me wonder — if he isn’t willing to spend money on something as important as a proposal, would he continue being like this after marriage?” she pondered.
Netizens’ remarks were ruthless.
Many urged the OP to reconsider the relationship or even break it off completely.
The top comment questioned if the boyfriend would expect her to split the costs when they have kids in the future.
“How will you go Dutch on an uncomfortable pregnancy, changes in your body shape, the pain of childbirth, and exhaustion from breastfeeding?” the user wrote. “Or will he convert all that into cash for you?”
Woman will have discussion with boyfriend about finances
The OP later updated the post, saying that she has seen the overwhelming response to her predicament.
“Many people have advised me not to get married,” she said. “I have given much thought to this over the past two days, and if things go on like this, I might not be able to accept it.”
That said, she doesn’t want to end the relationship for this reason alone. So, she will speak to her boyfriend about their views on spending money after marriage.
She will also make it clear that if he continues to be so calculative, she won’t be able to come to terms with it.
“Let’s have a gentle discussion first, and hopefully, we’ll reach a consensus,” she continued, thanking everyone for their advice.
Hope they reach an amicable conclusion
Money is a common cause of disagreements in many relationships, so it’s important to discuss spending habits before committing to someone.
We hope the couple can agree on managing their finances if they decide to proceed with the marriage.
And if not, we hope they’ll be able to find other partners who’ll be more receptive to their respective beliefs.
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Featured image adapted from Austin Pacheco on Unsplash for illustration purposes only.
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