Majority of poll respondents say children should give ageing parents allowance
Is filial duty still relevant in modern society?
This is one of the questions that arose after a recent survey by Answers.sg polled respondents whether adult children should financially support their ageing parents.
Of the 514 respondents, 90% agreed while the remaining 10% think that doing so is not necessary.
MS News spoke with some Singaporeans about the practice of setting aside income for parents.
While some are motivated by cultural influences and gratitude, others are more worried about practical considerations.
Giving allowance to parents as a form of ‘genuine gratitude’
Filial piety, a Confucian concept derived from Chinese culture, promotes a set of moral norms, values, and practices centred on respecting and caring for one’s parents.
Setting aside a portion of one’s income can thus be seen as a cultural norm in some societies, such as Singapore.
The belief is so prevalent that some parents may expect, or even request for it, once their children enter the workforce.
45-year-old media professional YK Yeo, however, does not see it as an obligation, but as a way of giving back to his parents.
Mr Yeo told MS News that he does not support his parents per se as they are financially independent.
He has, however, been giving his mother “pocket money” since he started his first job.
“She has never asked for it and has even told me to stop doing so in the past when I was in between jobs or needed to spend on major expenses like my wedding or housing,” said Mr Yeo.
Source: PR Image Factory on Canva
He also agrees that “financially capable” children should give ageing parents an allowance — especially if their parents have retired or have no source of income.
“It’s a nice feeling to be able to return something to your parents after starting work,” added Mr Yeo.
Similarly, M. Lau also believes that giving a portion of one’s money is a show of “genuine gratitude”.
The 62-year-old teacher shared that she’s been giving 10% of her salary to her parents since she started working.
“My parents didn’t need financial support. I gave out of what I believed would make them feel appreciated,” she said.
Giving allowance should be based on ‘individual capacity’
Some have offered alternative perspectives on this practice.
Speaking to MS News, 24-year-old A. Chua shared that she does not set aside a portion of her income for her parents.
“My parents are both educated and have been working all their lives,” Ms Chua said. “They are financially stable, and the money I make would help me not live off them at all.”
Having worked for two years in the media industry, she pointed out that besides home utility bills, she has been supporting herself financially.
Source: Thought Catalog on Unsplash. Image for illustration purposes only.
Additionally, she pays for things around the house and some meals outside.
Despite not following such customs, Ms Chua acknowledges the deep cultural value of filial piety.
Exposed to this idea of giving back from a young age, J. Yang, 24, noted that the practice is often seen as a “marker of responsibility and maturity”.
Such values are only reinforced by conversations and comparisons among peers as one grows older, she added, making it feel like an “unspoken expectation once you start earning a salary”.
Having worked for a year as an associate, Ms Yang shared that she is currently not setting aside a portion of her income for her parents.
She plans to start once she has a more stable income.
“I don’t think it’s strictly necessary for everyone, as each family has its own dynamics and financial situation,” she said.
Ultimately, Ms Yang believes that it’s a “personal decision that should be based on individual capacity and values rather than societal pressure”.
Source: Gleeson Recruitment Group
Pressure can be ‘overwhelming’ for younger working adults
Ms Chua emphasised that rising cost of living in Singapore — an issue her parents’ generation never experienced — is the biggest challenge that younger adults face today.
“I think [giving money] is necessary when there is a crisis,” she said.
But I do not believe in having to support your parents when you can barely support yourself.
Likewise, Ms Yang mentioned that younger adults often do not earn much at the start of their careers, yet they are expected to allocate part of their salary for their parents.
She pointed out that they may also still be dealing with other financial responsibilities, such as student loans, rent, or saving for future goals.
“The pressure to balance these priorities can be overwhelming, especially without sufficient financial planning or literacy,” said Ms Yang.
“Additionally, there can be emotional stress if the expectation to provide support is not matched by one’s financial ability.”
Source: kieferpix on Canva
Giving about 10% of salary to parents is a doable amount for most
As for working adults who can afford to do so, 5% to 10% of their salary seems to be a manageable amount for most.
60% of 534 respondents in a separate poll indicated that they give at least 5% of their income to their parents.
Of this number, 32% give more than 10% — among them, Mr Yeo, who forks out between 10% to 20% of his income for his mother.
“A common guideline is to set aside about 10 to 20% of one’s salary,” said Ms Yang, who plans to start at the lower end of that range. Ms Lau, who gives 10% of her income, agreed.
However, she noted that this becomes challenging when big life changes come into play — such as starting a family or navigating financial uncertainty.
During these periods, Ms Lau found it challenging to fork out even a small sum for her parents.
Mr Yeo also shared his struggles. While in between jobs that paid less, he found it difficult to contribute regularly and felt “terrible” about not being able to give back. Ultimately, it is all “circumstantial”, as Ms Chua said.
Giving an allowance to one’s parents can be seen as a kind and meaningful gesture, but may also add a level of pressure in a society such as Singapore.
Also read: MS Polls: 91% of respondents agree that being a young parent in S’pore is too costly
MS Polls: 91% of respondents agree that being a young parent in S’pore is too costly
Have news you must share? Get in touch with us via email at news@mustsharenews.com.
Featured image adapted from PR Image Factory on Canva and Gleeson Recruitment Group.
