Man in Singapore reflects on his ‘miraculous’ journey as an IVF dad
In Vitro Fertilisation is a topic that is seldom discussed, whether online or in person.
On 5 June, one brave soul shared a deeply personal reflection about his experience as an IVF dad via his LinkedIn page.
As Father’s Day approaches, 37-year-old William Seow — who will be celebrating the occasion for the first time — recounted the emotional journey he and his wife endured through multiple unsuccessful IVF cycles.
“Every cycle was one-shot-one-kill,” he wrote, adding that when it did not work, they had to start from scratch — “physically, emotionally, financially”.
As though that was not hard enough, Mr Seow learnt that his commitment came at a cost to his career.
Source: Rattankun Thongbun on Canva
Man shares how his commitment to family cost him his job
Speaking to MS News, Mr Seow, who is now a personal fitness trainer (PT), shared that he was laid off twice in his previous Fintech career.
“I started being a PT when I realised I am not going anywhere with the interviews and the family needed money,” he said.
Mr Seow revealed that both his previous employers were fully aware of his IVF journey, with the latter lay-off being a “personal” one.
“I was scapegoated to leave the company,” he claimed, adding that somehow, being a responsible IVF husband made him look weak at work and “borderline irresponsible”.
When they started the IVF journey as a couple, Mr Seow had promised his wife that they would go through it together, and he meant it.
He never missed a single IVF appointment, and even though it cost him his job, he is now “indifferent” about how things turned out.
“I did my very best for my work and never have I ever, because of the IVF or my wife, gave anything lesser to my work,” he said.
“The only mistake that I made was to let the management know that I’m going through IVF, which they see as a weakness and reasons for my ‘under-performance’.”
Couple stays strong through medical complications during IVF journey
Despite the grueling process, Mr Seow told MS News that “miraculous” is the word he would use to describe their IVF journey.
For two years, the couple tried to conceive naturally but without success. They then turned to IVF for the next two years.
Image courtesy of William Seow
His role as a husband, especially during that period, was to remain strong, he said.
Being present and prioritising his wife’s needs was his focus, but deep down, he admitted he felt “really sad” after each unsuccessful cycle.
Mr Seow revealed that he would sometimes break down in private, behind the bathroom door.
He recalled a particular appointment vividly as it was his wife’s birthday.
“We thought maybe, just maybe, we’d receive good news from the universe. Instead, we were told we couldn’t proceed,” wrote Mr Seow in his post.
“I watched her fall apart quietly outside the doctor’s room. The nurses apologised for delivering the news on her birthday.”
However, he had to stay strong — to hold space for her pain while managing his own.
Source: fizkes on Canva
He noted that while two years might seem rather short compared to others who have went through much longer journeys, it is not about the length of the struggle.
“My wife had multiple complications — even our doctor admitted he had never seen a patient with this high level of complications,” said Mr Seow.
Some of the medical complications include endometriosis, adenomyosis, and doctors even had to surgically remove one of her fallopian tubes as it was enlarged.
Couple now has a 10-month old son
After two long and difficult years, Mr Seow and his wife finally conceived — they now have a 10-month old son.
Given all the medical complications his wife experienced, he remains hopeful for all the IVF warriors out there.
“That’s why my one-word for this journey is ‘miraculous’,” he said.
With all the complications, we really don’t deserve to have a kid — but there the little one is, climbing up and down the sofa.
When asked what advice he would give to other husbands going through IVF, Mr Seow encouraged others to not be afraid to open up and talk to others.
“Everyone will form their own opinions of you regardless. Ignore the noise, talk to people. Your feelings deserve to be cared for as well,” he emphasised.
“Happy Father’s Day, from one IVF warrior to another.”
Image courtesy of William Seow
Also read: 51-year-old newscaster Glenda Chong welcomes first child, went for 10 rounds of IVF over 10 years
51-year-old newscaster Glenda Chong welcomes first child, went for 10 rounds of IVF over 10 years
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Featured image courtesy of William Seow.
