Dating in your 30s in Singapore is ‘quietly heartbreaking’, Redditor describes
Dating in your 30s in Singapore isn’t all wine and roses — for some, it feels more like emotional warfare.
That’s what one Redditor candidly revealed in a now-viral post titled “Dating in your 30s in Singapore is quietly heartbreaking”.
Since it was published on Sunday (11 May), the post has struck a deep chord, racking up over 260 comments from users who echoed the same raw frustration.
Went on 50 dates in 5 years, still no luck
The OP, a woman in her early 30s, shared that she had gone on over 50 dates in the last five years, through dating apps, mutual friends, blind dates, and events.
“I really gave it my all,” she lamented.
Despite her efforts, the results were dismal. She described the process as “emotionally draining”, with each failed attempt taking a toll on her self-esteem.
Source: Tero Vesalainen on Canva
Redditor wonders if she is ‘too late, too much, or just not enough’
In her post, the OP revealed that she had only two short-lived relationships, both of which ended due to value differences. Since then, dating has felt markedly different.
“For one, the pool of available men does seem to have naturally gotten smaller,” she wrote.
Despite being “more upfront lately”, she said she rarely gets approached, and when she does, it’s often by men who seem emotionally unavailable or only after something casual.
Things didn’t get better after she turned to her family for advice.
“They told me to soften my energy, be more feminine, and avoid posting photos with guy friends on Instagram,” she recalled. Although she tried following their suggestions, it left a bitter aftertaste.
“A part of me feels sad that I felt I had to do that,” she said.
Adding to her emotional fatigue is a more visceral concern — the ticking of her biological clock.
“I want a child someday,” she said, sharing that she had considered freezing her eggs, but it wasn’t something she could afford.
There are moments I wonder if I’m too late. Too much. Or just not enough. But deep down, I still hope someone will see me for who I truly am, and choose to stay.
Source: StockSnap from Pixabay on Canva
Redditors share the same struggle
The OP’s vulnerability clearly resonated, and hundreds of Reddit users chimed in with their own heartbreaks and frustrations.
One revealed himself to be a single guy in his 30s, who was struggling to settle down as well.
“With every failed connection I find, I have less love to pour out. Now, it feels like I have very little love left to give to the next person. I don’t recall the last time I felt strongly about someone,” he lamented.
Source: Reddit
Another, nearing 50 and still single, said that they had accepted the fact that they would perhaps “never meet [their] match” as dating was “draining”.
Source: Reddit
Other women, too, shared how “soul-crushing” dating in your 30s can be.
“It is a very lonely journey,” one said. Despite that, she advised the OP to get herself a “good support system” while waiting for the right man.
Source: Reddit
Amid the despair, a handful of hopeful voices emerged. One user gently reminded OP: “If it’s meant to be, it will happen.”
Source: Reddit
She shared her own story of meeting her husband at 33, and a friend who met hers at 35 — living proof that hope isn’t futile.
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Featured image adapted from StockSnap from Pixabay on Canva.
