Redditor says parents refuse to pay for university fees, but still expect financial support in old age
A Redditor who was accepted into two universities recently took to the platform to express their frustration at parents who refused to pay for their education, yet still expect financial support in their old age.
Parents don’t want to pay Uni fees but expect me to support them in the future
by inSGExams
In a candid post on the r/SGExams subreddit, the original poster (OP) explained that while they recognise they are not entitled to their parents’ money, it still came as a shock when they flat-out refused to fund their local university education despite being financially capable.
The OP had even chosen to stay at home to save on accommodation, and the family is affluent enough to live in a condominium in Singapore’s central area.
Still, their parents made it clear last year that they would not be covering their university fees.
The OP noted that in Singapore, it is generally expected that parents pay for their children’s education, with the understanding that the children will repay them later through monthly allowances and acts of filial piety.
Parents boast about success, yet expect future support
Although the OP has come to terms with their parents’ decision not to fund their university education, tensions resurfaced after they were accepted into medical school at both the National University of Singapore (NUS) and Nanyang Technological University (NTU).
Source: National University of Singapore
Their parents began bragging about the achievement to friends — while also making it clear they expect the OP to support them financially in the future.
The OP found this deeply unfair.
They pointed out that the family had seemingly agreed to adopt a more ‘western’ approach, where young adults are expected to be financially independent and not obligated to provide for their parents later in life.
Despite the lack of financial support, the OP has been saving for university through part-time work and intends to take on internships to manage expenses.
Source: Nanyang Technological University
However, they turned to Reddit for advice on how to navigate their parents’ expectations.
They also shared plans to gradually distance themselves after becoming financially independent, but expressed concern about the possibility of being taken to court under Singapore’s Maintenance of Parents Act.
The OP claimed that while their parents may not be willing to spend S$100,000 on their education, they would have no qualms about spending S$200,000 on a lawyer to demand maintenance from them.
Redditors advise OP to provide only the bare minimum
Many Reddit users advised the OP to give their parents only the bare minimum in financial support once they start working.
Some suggested that they should also keep records of their parents’ lack of financial assistance, as this could strengthen their case in court if legal action is ever taken.
Source: Reddit
Several commenters recommended that the OP consider working overseas in the future, noting that this could potentially make it more difficult for their parents to sue them.
Source: Reddit
As for school fees, Redditors encouraged the OP to explore student loans and financial aid options, warning that internship income alone would likely be insufficient to cover the high costs of medical school.
One user also suggested that while the OP’s parents may refuse to pay for their education outright, they might still be willing to offer a loan.
Source: Reddit
Father says friends’ kids give a third of their salary to parents
Later that day, the OP updated their post to share that they had gotten into an argument with their father over future financial support.
According to the OP, their father became enraged after they said they wouldn’t be giving money to their parents in the future — even going so far as to say he hoped the OP would “get struck by lightning”.
He also tried to guilt the OP by comparing them to his friends’ children, claiming they gave their parents S$2,000 out of a S$6,000 monthly salary.
However, the OP said their father refused to acknowledge that those parents, unlike him, didn’t want to see their children struggle financially.
After the argument, the OP decided they would no longer confront their parents about the issue.
Instead, they plan to give the bare minimum in support once financially independent.
For now, however, they said they will have to continue living with their parents throughout university, as moving out would impose an additional financial burden.
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Featured image adapted from nirat on Canva, for illustration purposes only.
